Thursday, April 4, 2013

Are you ready for the next Apocalypse?

We lived through the Mayan Apocalypse, a few of Harold Camping's raptures and a couple of asteroid near misses so what has the universe got in store for us next?

A bunch of realistic zombies
Zombie Apocalypse, that's what.
I know the zombie apocalypse is coming because everyone is preparing for it. Many governments across the globe have a 'Plan Z' in place to deal with the undead. Just less than a year ago, a guy in Miami was shot numerous times by police after he was caught eating another man's face, while 'tripping off his box' on bath salts. Last week a catalog turned up in my mail box from a company called offering the latest zombie survival gear.

Zombie Survival Kit
Everything you need for killing zombies, thanks to
There is another impending apocalypse that is equally menacing but somewhat easier to defeat. Like the zombies, nobody knows exactly where they came from. Like the zombies they spawn when least expected and move around in large groups. Like the zombies they don't have the first clue about self preservation and keep coming at you even under the deadliest defensive fire. However, unlike zombies, they wear a knotted handkerchief on their head and have their pant legs rolled up, exposing their rubber boots. Beware of the Gumby Apocalypse. 

The Gumby Apocalypse

The Gumby survival kit is somewhat simpler, less expensive and less likely to get you arrested for carrying it around during non-apocalyptic periods.
Some Paper Clips
Some paper clips will get you through a Gumby Apocalypse
Thanks to our friends at for prompting and inspiring us to write this mini survival guide.

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