google.com, pub-9840409407193699, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slap The Penguin: 10/01/2014 - 11/01/2014

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Kenny Chesney launches his own theme park

By +Alexa Rankin

Country music star Kenny Chesney has been fairly quiet for the past few years, only raising his head briefly to promote his 'by the numbers' albums, and with good reason as it turns out. Kenny has been working on a country themed destination in Nashville called ChesneyLand.

ChesneyLand set to open in 2015
ChesneyLand is set to open in mid 2015

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The 10 Commandments have been broken

By +Ian C

Last December we posted a story about the 10 Commandments monument at the Oklahoma Capitol. The controversial structure stood proud for 10 whole months before an unfortunate collision with the car of a satanist.
The 10 Commandments have been broken
Take 1 tablet after meals

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Granny's muffin brings all the boys to the yard

By Sue Casa via +Tina Cruris

This is a guest post by Sue Casa.

Ask anybody in the town of Witney in Oxford, UK about muffins and they will all say that Betsy Stoker's muffin is the best. Even Prime Minister David Cameron has gone on record praising Betsy's muffin saying, "Her muffin is moist and tasty and if you get the chance to eat it warm....Mmm-mmm-mmmm."

Betsy Stoker cleaning her muffin tray
Betsy like to keep her muffin tray nice and clean

Friday, October 17, 2014

Man finds surprise in stomach after trip to Ireland

By +Alexa Rankin

Bernoux LaVelle returned home from a trip to Ireland with more than he bargained for. Just 1 hour after his plane landed in Brussels, Bernoux complained of a "weird wriggling feeling" in his stomach. He went to the local hospital where an x-ray and gastrocam exam revealed something lodged in his digestive system, and hopefully you have a strong digestive system when you read his story.

An x-ray image of Bernoux LaVelle's stomach (enhanced)
An x-ray image of Bernoux LaVelle's stomach (enhanced)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The spell that was NOT in the Potter movies

By +Tina Cruris

The Harry Potter saga covers seven books and eight movies, and not once was this spell ever known to be used. It's existence was as mythical as the Deathly Hallows until a young wizard happened across it in a book from the restricted section of the library at Hogwarts.

The spell which was NOT in the Harry Potter movies
Would you care to venture a guess before the big reveal?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10?

By +Brad Naylor

The entire computer literate universe has no doubt heard by now that the most popular operating system on the planet, Windows, will be skipping version 9 and going straight to Windows 10. STP is first with the facts about why there will be no Windows 9.

Windows 10 startup logo
Note the subtle use of the Roman Numeral X (which means 10)

Friday, October 10, 2014

Don't pick and drive

By +Alexa Rankin

A 40 year old father of three was seriously injured in a car crash yesterday, by his own finger. Dennis Murray was stopped at a stoplight on Ashford Road in Detroit, Mi., when his car was hit from behind by another motorist. The 5 mile per hour impact did not at first seem to be a life threatening one, even though Murray's car was hit hard enough for the airbag to deploy.

Traffic cam image of Murray moments before the impact
Murray picking his nose moments before the crash

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Decathlete awaiting Jenner reassignment operation

By +Ian C

Olympic decathlete and Kardashian Step-dad, Bruce Jenner, is on a waiting list for a gender reassignment operation. He will take the final step next summer and will be known as Bridgette.

Bruce Jenner to become Bridgette Jenner
Bruce will become Bridgette after his Jenner reassignment

Monday, October 6, 2014

George Clooney not gay, but does love Amal

By +Brad Naylor

Contrary to a previous post, George Clooney may not be as gay as we all thought he was, since he recently got married to Anne Hathaway lookalike lawyer Amal Alamuddin.

George Clooney and Amal Hathaway Alamuddin
Clooney and Anne Hathaway lookalike, Amal Alamuddin

Sunday, October 5, 2014

US Weekly to publish magazine in reverse

By +Alexa Rankin

US Weekly is probably the most read magazine in the United States, but studies indicate that the majority of its readers do so backwards, while waiting in line at the supermarket checkout.

US Weekly backwards edition
The spine is on the right and the pages open on the left

Friday, October 3, 2014

Amazon to open physical store in Minnesota

By +Tina Cruris

Mail order megalith amazon.com is opening it's first US bricks and mortar outlet here in Minnesota. The giant store which will occupy the entire 3rd floor of the Mall of America in Bloomington is slated for opening in October 2015 just in time to generate mammoth sales in time for the Holidays.

amazon is coming to the MOA
amazon is coming to the MOA

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Back in black (and white)

By +Ian C

It's October 1st and Slap the Penguin makes a triumphant return after a 2 month layoff. During our time away we had a chance to re-examine our mission statement and rediscover our original direction.

We are so fucking sorry
We are truly sorry

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