Annual Check In

It's time for our annual check in, see who is still around and who isn't. The good news is that all the old crew are still alive and kicking, although the kicks aren't as high as they used to be and the evening will be spent recovering with vodka and/or Aleve™. 

This is the kind of humor we need on this site
(source: Stolen from google search)

We are still alive this Christmas

Hi, hello and howdy to our loyal band of penguin slappers, and any accidental visitors too.

Why yes, it has been a while since we posted anything and yes we are all still alive. I know some of you were probably getting concerned (please don't comment to the contrary, just leave this little fantasy alive) that you hadn't seen or heard or smelled anything from us, but honestly it got too tough to handle all this excitement, and have families and jobs and pets and all the other day to day stuff we have to do first.

You're fired!.... and we're back

By Ian C

Today is January 20th 2021 and I know that our headline is not unique, clever or even barely amusing, but it feels good to write it anyway. Who would have thought that what started off as a joke would end so miserably for so many people. At this moment I should point out that as a serious news reporting service we have no political affiliation, we merely report the news as it unfolds with an unbiased eye and a neutral and independent mind.

Has anyone given Marty Feldman Steve Buscemi eyes yet?

Happy 10th Birthday to Slap The Penguin

By Ian C.

Hey penguin slappers, it has been a while since I have posted anything new here. Since our last outing they have revamped the Blogger interface and it took me about 88 seconds to figure out where I was and how to do what I wanted to do.

Anyway, I know I said we wold not be posting anything until the current sitting POTUS and hater of fake news is ousted from power, but something has happened in this world which is more important than out political stance. I am of course talking about COVID 19 our 10th birthday/anniversary.

STP 10 - Viral Comedy

Where are they now? Slap the Penguin

By +Ian C

Hi. How are you? Haven't seen you for a while.

The original and the best

Remember that Satirical News Blog called Slap the Penguin? It was really popular a couple of years ago, before fake news became a mainstream professional thing. Things started to fall apart as the Trump political era dawned. News stories were scrutinized and fact checked, and things looked bleak for non-factual news. It was at that time we decided to take a break from Slapping Penguins.

Kanye kept on a leash for the 2017 Grammys

By +Ian C

Last night The Grammys were in town, and so were some of the planet's finest musical talents. A long list of celebrities were presenting and receiving awards, but the world's greatest celebrity musician was conspicuously absent. No I don't mean David Bowie, who had a good reason to not collect his 5 awards in person.

How not to crop an image for publishing

The penguin flies again

By +Ian C

Some would say that the title of this post is purely metaphorical since penguins can't fly, [proof] and that we needed something eye-catching in this clickbait world of alternate facts. However there is a small group of Adélie penguins who have (re)gained the power of flight. When the extreme weather in the Antarctic becomes too harsh even for these hardy little birds, they take flight and head north to the southern tip of South America until the weather becomes livable again.

Flying Adélie Penguins filmed by the BBC

The 7th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards

By +Ian C

Welcome to the 7th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards, or The Slappys™ as they are rapidly becoming known. This year's event will be short and sweet since we only published nine posts in 2016 and four of those were recap/review posts, so sit down, relax, and enjoy the next 3½ minutes.

The remake was awful so we borrowed this image instead

Deadpool - Movie of the decade?

By +Ian C

I have just watched the best movie of the year so far. Yes I know it's only February, but I doubt that anything else released during the remainder of 2016 will be better than Deadpool. If you think that is a bold statement, let me tell you this; Deadpool is the #1 contender for movie of the decade, and I am aware that there are still 3+ years left to go, with yet another Star Wars sequel on the horizon.

A photo cropper's worst nightmare

The 6th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards

By +Ian C

Welcome to the 6th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards, affectionately known as The Slappys™. We weren't even sure if this event would go ahead, and even as I am typing this, I am not 100% convinced that it will still happen, so if you aren't reading this then it didn't get published and the world missed out on an awesome online award presentation.

Happy New Year and 2015 Review

By +Ian C

Happy New Year and welcome to 2016. We had a quiet end to 2015 thanks to (other) work commitments for many of our top writers, editors and tech staff. Hopefully now that we are in a brand new year we can get back into the stride and deliver the kind of content that you have been used to seeing from us in the past.

"I mean 2016. Happy 2016"

900 posts with no end in sight

By +Ian C

Every 100 posts, we pat ourselves on the back and share some of our best recieved stories since the last milestone. This is the 900th post since we started waaaaay back in the 1800's with the birth of the internet which was created as a joint effort between AOL, Western Union and Harriet Beecher Stowe. Sadly, just before her death in 1896 Stowe sold her 33.3% stake in the internet to Richard T. Google.

Thanks Tony

Half a million pageviews for Slap the Penguin

By +Ian C

Thanks to each and every one of you who has visited our pages since July 2010. If only we charged a dollar for each visit, we would have enough money to hire a proper graphic designer who could get the images on our posts correct.

Where can we get a good graphic designer that we can afford?

Happy Thanksgiving - 2015

By +Ian C

It has become a tradition for us to make a list of the things that we at Slap The Penguin are thankful for. I have been living in America for a little over a decade and as an outsider I have seen some changes in the sentiment behind Thanksgiving. The emphasis on gratitude and family is slowly being stripped away by the commercial side of America.

Happy Thanksgiving

Coca-Cola announce new Coke Platinum

By +Ian C

For many years people have used the popular soft drink, Coca-Cola, to mix with their alcoholic beverages. The phrase 'and coke' has punctuated many drink selections such as Jack, Captain, Bacardi, Kahlua and even Jagermeister, but many liquor snobs purists have said, "My whisky/rum/vodka is too good to mix with coke". Well Coca-Cola have listened and have come up with new Coke Platinum.

Coke Platinum is available in Light and Dark

Scientists reveal naturally colored snow

By +Ian C

A team of international scientists based in Helsinki, Finland, have announced that they have created different colored snow, and not by adding food coloring. According to their press release, their method is entirely natural and does not involve dyes or colors.

The magic of photo editing shows what colored snow won't look like

Uber driver runs over passenger

By +Ian C

A German born Uber driver took his job literally when he ran über a passenger in the Gold Coast area of Queensland, Australia last Friday. Fortunately, the victim's name is Sascha and not Alice, otherwise our headline writer would have had a field day.

Good job her name was Sascha and not Alice

Celebrity Panhandling - Flava Flav

By +Ian C

Flava Flav was born William Jonathan Drayton Jr. in March 1959 and grew up to be a musician, rapper, actor, television personality, and comedian. He is best known for his role as the Hype Man in the popular Long Island dance beat combo, Public Enemy. He has been described as the ultimate Hype Man with his shouts of "Yeah Boy!" and "Flava Flav!" during performances. Some would say that these were his most memorable contributions to Public Enemy while others would say they were his only contributions to Public Enemy.

Flavor Flav, Chuck D and the other 3

New Species African Golden Wolf discovered

By +Ian C

So often we are hearing about tragedies in the animal kingdom, such as extinctions, so when a new species is discovered we get rather excited about it. This is absolutely the case with the African Golden Wolf, which was recently discovered in Africa.

The African Golden Wolf looks more like a fox

5 years and still slapping

By +Ian C

What were you doing on July 22nd 2010? I know what I was doing. I was starting one of the most popular penguin related satirical news sites on the entire interwebs, and now 5 years later I am still doing it because I haven't made enough money to retire yet.

Cut out and keep celebratory button, just for you