Thursday, February 16, 2017

Real News about Fake Brews at Walmart

By +Brad Naylor

This is going to look like we are Walmart bashing, but this news story is trending, and the headline jumped into my head so I figured I would exploit my position as a reporter and share it with you guys. Super giant retailer of everything (including Ivanka Trumps clothing) has been caught supposedly selling it's mass produced, mass market beer as a craft brew.

Trouble in Walmart
Trouble in Walmart = Walmart in Trouble

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Walmart take up slack on Ivanka Trump clothing lines

By +Tina Cruris

Ivanka Trump's foray into fashion has almost been derailed as a number of key retailers dropped her clothing lines from their stores. Nordstrom led the charge, much to the chagrin of Donald Trump, who went as far as using his position of power to slam them for treating her "so unfairly". The list of stores who have removed at least some Trump lines from their portfolio now includes Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Belk, Jet, ShopStyle, Burlington, Sears, and Kmart.

Ivanka Trump clothing at Walmart Stores
Ivanka Trump clothing at Walmart Stores

Monday, February 13, 2017

Kanye kept on a leash for the 2017 Grammys

By +Ian C

Last night The Grammys were in town, and so were some of the planet's finest musical talents. A long list of celebrities were presenting and receiving awards, but the world's greatest celebrity musician was conspicuously absent. No I don't mean David Bowie, who had a good reason to not collect his 5 awards in person.

Kanye West, not at the 2017 Grammys
How not to crop an image for publishing

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

How Trump fixed the Super Bowl

By +Titan Young

This is Brad and I don't know a lot about sports, but I do know someone who does, and he has written a guest post for us. The opinions expressed below are entirely those of my friend and work colleague Titan Young.

Last Sunday, we saw one of the most exciting, one of the most unexpected, and one of the most heartbreaking Superbowl games of all time as Tom Brady's Patriots came back from a 25 point deficit to tie the game and claim an overtime victory. The result was so unbelievable that even Marty McFly thought that there was a typo in his Sports Almanac as the teams went in at half time.

Facts are starting to come about that President Trump tweeted to the Falcons at half time using one or more of his alternate accounts, with news that gave them a big enough reason to not score many more points in the second half.

Donald Trump tweets as John Barron to the Atlanta Falcons

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Super Bowl LI kills The Celebrity Apprentice

By +Alexa Rankin

The New Celebrity Apprentice has already seen it's lowest viewing figures since records began 14 seasons ago, but tonight could mark an all time low in viewership numbers thanks to Super Bowl LI. With at least 100 million people tuning in to see Tom Brady's Patriots lose to playing America's favorite Atlanta Falcons it is possible that Arnie's Apprentice could actually have less than 1 million viewers tonight.

Arnie's Apprentice
You're Terminated/Get to da Chopper/I'll be back, you wont/Consider this a divorce
Pick your cliché

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Sony launch new "Portrait" TV

By +Brad Naylor

Electronics giant Sony have announced that they will be launching a new TV known as the Portrait TV this Spring. The large 9:16 ratio screen comes in response to the number of people making videos on their cellphones in portrait or vertical mode rather than using the traditional landscape orientation.

Sony's new "Portrait" TV
The new Portrait TV from Sony

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Dear Tina - Groundhog Day

By +Tina Cruris
Dear Tina, I am confused about the whole groundhog day thing. What does his shadow have to do with the weather? Can those guys in hats really speak groundhogese? Is Phil really 126 years old? It seems to me that those old farts in the hats are just trying to perpetuate a stupid tourist tradition so that they only have to work for 1 week per year.
Sincerely, Anti-Groundhog Girl


Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The penguin flies again

By +Ian C

Some would say that the title of this post is purely metaphorical since penguins can't fly, [proof] and that we needed something eye-catching in this clickbait world of alternate facts. However there is a small group of Adélie penguins who have (re)gained the power of flight. When the extreme weather in the Antarctic becomes too harsh even for these hardy little birds, they take flight and head north to the southern tip of South America until the weather becomes livable again.

Flying Adélie Penguins filmed by the BBC
Flying Adélie Penguins filmed by the BBC

Sunday, January 29, 2017

The 7th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards

By +Ian C

Welcome to the 7th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards, or The Slappys™ as they are rapidly becoming known. This year's event will be short and sweet since we only published nine posts in 2016 and four of those were recap/review posts, so sit down, relax, and enjoy the next 3½ minutes.

The Seventh Annual Slap The Penguin Awards
The remake was awful so we borrowed this image instead

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