Sunday, May 29, 2011

iBone, the new iPhone sexting app

Apple have finally approved the controversial iBone app for sale in their iTunes store, despite opposition from a number of morality groups. The app, which retails for $1.99, enables 2 or more iPhone users to connect via text message, voice and camera with the primary purpose of 'sexting' each other.
The iBone App
The iBone App

The Spice Girls Reunion

When Simon Fuller gathered 5 girls (4 girls and a woman who lied about her age) and launched them into the realms of super stardom he was just looking for a quick turnaround on his investment. He figured three number one singles and a number one album would be enough to buy him a new home and a Maserati to park in the garage. Then he could dissolve the group and move on with his next project. But the Spice Girls had other ideas.

The Spice Girls - A Schoolboy Fantasy
L-R Vapid Spice, Jailbait Spice, Token Spice, Old Spice (aka Slutty Spice), Flat Spice

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Taylor Swift has no boobs

It's a slow news day so we are dredging the depths and right at the bottom is Dolly Parton's revelation that Taylor Swift has no boobs.

Taylor Swift - Breastless (according to Dolly)
Taylor Swift - Breastless (according to Dolly)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Judgement Day Postponed

It seems that the Day of Reckoning, originally slated for May 21st has been postponed due to unforeseen circumstances.

Armageddon or Christmas Shopping?
"Dammit, where did I park the car?"

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Russell Bland deported from Japan

British idiot comedian, Russell Brand was refused entry to Japan and will miss out on seeing his wife Katy Perry play 3 concerts there.

Russell Brand or Helena Bonham-Carter?
Russel Brand needs to shave to pull off
the Helena Bonham-Carter look

Saturday, May 21, 2011

It's not the end of the world...

... unless you live near Grimsvotn in Iceland.

Pilates of the Caribbean

Johnny Depp dons the infamous Tricorne and a lycra leotard for his return to the big screen as Jack Sparrow. This 4th installment sees Cap'n Jack opening a brand new fitness center on the island of Tortuga, assisted by his old crewmate Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush).
Pilates of the Caribbean
Cap'n Jack Sparrow limbers up for movie number 4

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Can you hear me now?

For the last 18 months, passengers traveling in the Amtrak 'quiet-car' have been enjoying the kind of peace reserved for libraries. A silence fondly remembered only by people old enough to appreciate the days prior to the invasion of the cell phone.
The latest phone from Radioshack
A cellular phone from Radioshack the 1980s

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Man sues for usage of his name

A Pakistani immigrant living in Brooklyn, New York has recently filed a lawsuit against the website for unlawful usage of the word asshat.

Mr Asshat
Mr Prashid Asshat is suing for distress and embarrassment

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Schwarzenegger to return to the big screen

Since the news of Arnold Schwarzenegger's split from ex-tennis star Pam Shriver has exploded onto the tabloids, the story of his return to the big screen has taken a back seat. The very public split is proof that you should never marry a tennis player since love means nothing to them.
Arnold and Pam contemplate their seperate futures
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Pam Shriver

Friday, May 13, 2011

Annie, Tim Burton Style

Master of the macabre, Tim Burton, is expanding his repertoire of musical movies by reworking the children's classic, Annie. As usual he directs his two darlings, Johnnie Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter, this time in the roles of wealthy industrialist, Daddy Warbucks, and the delightfully evil orphanage manager, Miss Hannigan.
Depp, Bonham-Carter and Mills in Tim Burton's Annie
Tim Burton's vision of orphan Annie and 'friends'

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Europe switches to Metric Time

The tiny European country of Liechtenstein nestles comfortably in the bosom of the Alps, along the border between Switzerland and Austria. It is so small and insignificant even most of the Swiss and Austrian population don't even know it exists, but that is about to change.
Liechtenstein - It's name is longer than it's border
Liechtenstein - Pretty much actual size

Monday, May 9, 2011

Austrian swimmer gets stuck at the beach

The Austrian national swim team almost lost a member of it's Olympic team during a crazy beach incident.
Jakub Maly - Swimmer and Ditch Digger
Jakub Maly - Austrian Swimmer and potential Darwin Award Winner

Dear Tina - Vacation Constipation

Dear Tina, I can never go to the bathroom when on vacation, and it becomes a big problem because I get constipated. Next month I am going on vacation and I need help solving my problem. It is 9 days long and I just cant hold it in that long, but yet it wont come out. This sounds like a joke but I'm serious.

Please help me,

Sincerely, Jordan

Elvis Lives, claims haunted man

Peter K. Edwards is a normal looking 51 year old male from Altoona, PA. Except that he is a conduit for musical spirits. Peter is haunted by the ghosts of dead singers.
Singing in the bathroom is nothing new
The bathroom has great acoustics

Sunday, May 8, 2011

What did we miss?

My Twist News Slap the Penguin is back after a brief sabbatical, and boy did we pick a bad time to take a break! So much great news has happened since March 9th, including Royal Weddings in England, high profile assassinations in Pakistan, Earthquakes and Tsunami in Japan and the PlayStation Network getting taken down.

Clockwise: William and Kate, Osama Bin Laden,
the PlayStation Network and Godzilla

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