Halle Berry releases Christmas Song

by +Ian C

40 something movie star Halle Berry is following in the footsteps of Hayden Panettiere and Gwyneth Paltrow by making that sideways move from the screen to the studio. Halle Berry is taking on the Christmas classic, 'Mary's Boy Child' which was originally a hit back in 1956.

Halle Berry preparing to sing her new single, Mary's Boy Child

Happy Thanksgiving 2013

by +Tina Cruris

Today is the 392nd anniversary of the first Thanksgiving celebration which happened back in 1621. It is also the 4th anniversary of us at Slap the Penguin wishing our readers a Happy Thanksgiving. Over the years we have approached the celebration in slightly different ways, but the message has always been the same.

He hasn't heard of bacon wrapped turkey with bacon stuffing?

Bubes Says - I am thankful that I did my Black Friday shopping online

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I know I am a day early, but I don't care, we Canadians celebrated our Thanksgiving back in October. Yes, Canadians have Thanksgiving too. Ours is on the second Monday of October, or as Americans call it, Columbus Day.

I got this fetching pilgrim costume for 80% off

Miley Cyrus hits a mileystone birthday

by +Alexa Rankin

Ouch, the headline puns don't get any better. Yes, Destiny Hope Cyrus finally graduated to legal drinking this week when she turned 21 last Saturday. Most of the excitement was actually lost behind the more interesting celebration of Doctor Who's 50th anniversary, which is the real reason why Miley delayed her celebrations by 24 hours and not to align with the AMA's like she has been telling everyone.

Nobody move or the cake gets it

Random Penguin Fact #37

Random Penguin Fact

Top 10 iconic screen cars

by +Brad Naylor

It was a tough task but we have managed to whittle down the list of cars from TV and film to a list of just 10. It took weeks of study and performance measurement to narrow it down and then to place them in order of bestness. We judged the cars on looks, popularity and where they would finish in a race against the other cars. Those numbers were plugged into our secret formula and out popped our top 10.

It says - Top 10 iconic screen cars

Doctor Who celebrates 50 years

by +Ian C

50 years and 11 faces ago, Doctor Who made his first ever television appearance, the first of many. In total nearly 800 episodes have been screened, covering 239 stories. Each story revolves around The Doctor travelling into a troubled area of time and space with a hapless assistant, discovering that some alien race is messing around with stuff, then putting things right using wit, guile and a sonic screwdriver.

Doctor Who - geekier than a Radio Shack manager

Germany has a sense of humor

by +Ian C

For centuries the German nation has been considered by the rest of the world to be a stoic nation with no sense of humor, but the latest round of STP visitor stats contradicts that long held belief. We can officially confirm that Germany does actually have a sense of humor.

Germany - Europe's second funniest nation

Random Penguin Fact #36

Random Penguin fact

Hundreds of iPads destroyed by bogus apps

by +Alexa Rankin

It seems that technology is making us dumber and the iPad is the leading cause of techtardation. Ever since the first iteration of the i-device, people have been developing apps to make life easier and keep us entertained, but recently there have been a number of apps designed to test peoples stupidity.

The Traffic Light Controller App

Dear Tina - My guy loves Arnie more than me

by +Tina Cruris

Dear Tina, I think my husband likes Arnold Schwarzenegger more than he likes me. Any time an Arnie movie comes on TV he insists on watching it and yells out catchphrases at the TV, even if they are not in the movie. 

The most annoying one is 'Geht tu dah choppuhr' which he does in a very guttural bad German accent. And then whenever we get a commercial break, he gets up to grab a beer or use the restroom and he says 'Ah'll be baaaack'. 

I don't think it would be so bad if he could do a decent Arnie impression and just do it once to get it out of his system, but it's all the way through the movie. Some days we don't even have to be watching a movie, he just blurts it out. It's like Arnie Tourettes or something.

Please help me before I terminate our marriage,

Mrs. Not an Arnie fan.

Bubes Says - I am Thor, from holding this thilly hammer

Hey ladies, I'm back with another fantastic insight about my amazing life. Yes, I am a singer and ex-international playboy, but there are so many more dimensions to me. Just like a piece of paper has 2 sides, I am more than meets the eye. Here is a picture from one of my recent exploits with my good friend Chris Hemsworth on the set of Thor 2.

You don't understand how heavy Mjölnir is after the 3rd take

Reslap - Flo in Playboy - 3 Years On

by +Ian C

3 years ago today our very own +Brad Naylor revealed that adult magazine Playboy would be featuring Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials on their December 2010 cover. He posted the story on November 12th 2010 and since that day it has been our most viewed post of all time, averaging almost 500 visits per month.

A screen capture of the original post

Random Penguin Fact #35

Random Penguin Fact

A 2,000 pound satellite will crash to Earth today

by +Alexa Rankin

Don't look up today, a twist of irony means that a 2,000 pound satellite may land on your head. It's true that nature does have a sense of humor and someone somewhere will get a first hand demonstration sometime today. I am sorry I can't be more specific but the exact time and impact area have not yet been calculated.

An artists impression of a 2000 lb chunk of space debris

Where are they now? Child's Play

by +Brad Naylor

It was November 1988 and horror movie fans were about to be exposed to one of the most creepy bad guys in the genre's history, a life size best friend called Chucky. Just what we needed after a bunch of lame horror sequels which dominated 25 years ago. The only other horror movie from 1988 I can think of that is worth mentioning is Hellraiser II: Hellbound.

The movie is better than the DVD cover

Blue Language on the set of Smurfs 3

by +Tina Cruris

Even though there is not a smurf called Cursey Smurf, it doesn't stop those tiny adorable blue creatures from using blue language. During down time on the set of Smurfs 3 the air is filled with obscenities which would make Kathy Griffin blush.

I wonder why they call him Grouchy Smurf...

The new craze of headstone advertising

by +Ian C

For those who have recently suffered a loss, you know the expense of burying a loved one, especially considering the cost of real estate these days. Why do you think so many people opt for cremation? A recent survey found that the actual cost (excluding the bar tab at the wake) to bury someone is close to $10,000.

That's what it's gonna take to get a headstone like this

Bubes Says - Natural beauty takes at least two hours in front of a mirror

Hi Bubes fans, I am back again to share my latest tale of fun. You may have read about my good friend Pamela Anderson recently completing the New York Marathon (if you haven't then click HERE). You may not know this but I used to be a stand in for both Pam and David Hasselhoff while they were filming Baywatch.

An actual Pamela Anderson quote

Pamela Anderson finishes the NY marathon

by +Alexa Rankin

When Pamela Anderson announced that she would be running in the 2013 New York marathon, many people laughed it off as a publicity stunt or a silly joke, but last Sunday she proved everybody wrong by not just running in the marathon, but actually finishing.

Pamela Anderson finishing the NY marathon

Random Penguin Fact #34

Random Penguin Fact

What got slapped 12 months ago - November 2012

Happy November everyone. A new month means a new reslap (like a recap but for penguin fans) of what we were doing in November 2012. The Presidential election was big news this time last year so you can expect a smattering of politics on your journey through our archives. Don't panic though, we did more than just politics, and besides we offer unbiased and balanced political commentary.

Those of you who have been here before probably know how to use the sidebar archive, but for the new or lazy visitors, read on. We do all the hard work for you.

CoitUS challenged over name and new logo

by +Brad Naylor

They used to be called Coit Cleaning Services until an expansion project made them an international company. The success of the 'Man in the shiny black van' meant that they could afford to expand to Canada and Thailand and clean carpets and drapes in other countries. In order to identify the original domestic portion of the company they added the letters US after their name.

Call CoitUS for a full service

November Caption Contest

First of all, I want to thank everybody who entered the October caption contest. We had some astoundingly funny captions and the winner will be announced below after the introduction to the November Caption Contest.

By now, you must know what to do. Look at the picture and imagineer a caption which makes the image funnier. You can use the COMMENTS SECTION below (preferred), or leave your entry on our FACEBOOK PAGE (like us while you are there) or enter by EMAIL.

Now take a look at this and let your creativity flow...