Sunday, March 18, 2012

Slap the Penguin readers are perverts

Since there won't be any reslap posts for a while, I took some time just cruising the site looking for something to fill the gaping void. While I was looking at the site from a reader's perspective, I noticed a rather horrifying trend. Towards the bottom of the page we have a list of the top 5 most visited posts for the last week. It turns out that most of our readers are perverts. (Scroll down and see the evidence for yourself)

A screen capture taken on 3/13/2012

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Another boss bans the cross

You may be aware of the situation in Great Britain right now, where two women are taking the government to the European court, contesting their right to wear a cross or crucifix at work. Both of them were told that the cross on their necklaces contravened dress codes, and could not be given an exception on religious grounds since the wearing of a cross is not a requirement of the Christian faith.
Not required to be a Christian

Friday, March 16, 2012

Happy Tebow Day 3:16

People all over the globe United States Denver are dropping to one knee to celebrate Tebow Day. Today is March 16th also written as 3-16, the numbers which have become synonymous with the Broncos lucky star quarterback Tim Tebow.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

March Madness

Sorry to mislead you with the headline. This March Madness is about how for one day of the year every single American mysteriously develops some Irish ancestry and wears a green shirt suggesting a reason to be kissed. That day would be March 17th, also known as St. Patrick's Day.

An Irish Penguin

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Joseph Kony 2012

Slap the Penguin has received no less than 3 emails (so far) asking why we haven't broached the topic of Joseph Kony. The simple answer is we can't think of anything original and funny about the situation. The joke about him being the dark horse in the GOP race has been overdone.

This is what real santorum looks like

Monday, March 12, 2012

Dog craps out on Crufts obstacle course

The Americans have the Westminster Dog Show, the Brits have Crufts, and one of the favorite events at both of these spectacles is the doggie obstacle course. A series of canvas tunnels, jumps, teeter-totters and those wiggle-in-and-out-stick things stand between the dogs and the finish line.

The Crufts Champion's cup and Buffy, the dog they use to polish it

Sunday, March 11, 2012

What got slapped 12 months ago - 3/13/11

What got slapped 12 months ago? Nothing. As Ross constantly told everybody when asked about him cheating on Rachel, "WE WERE ON A BREAK". Slap the Penguin (or My Twist News as it was back then) took a break for 2 months and we missed some very vital news stories as a result. That is why we published the post titled "What did we miss?" a vital collection of the main events that happened while we were away.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Man calls 911 after playing angry birds on the toilet

Emergency services in Yankton, South Dakota were called to assist a man who was trapped in his bathroom and unable to free himself. When police officers arrived at the scene, they found the man lying on the bathroom floor next to a laptop computer and clutching his cellphone.
'Logging on' to the internet

Monday, March 5, 2012

What got slapped 12 months ago - 3/6/11

Thanks for coming back again, although this week it probably isn't worth the effort, considering 2 out of the 3 stories from this time last year were painfully dull. Also, the leap year this year made a mess of the scheduling for these posts. Everything is going to be one day out for a whole year. However, we are all smart people and should get over it with little or no issue.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Tiger Woods and the Navy Seals

There is a rumour floating around in the interwebs that Tiger Woods contemplated trying out for the Navy Seals during the lowest point in his golfing career. 
300 yards to the target; wind left to right; I think I will use the .50 cal
Tiger's new golf cart sponsored by Humvee

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Jack Sparrow offers condolences to Davy Jones family

After the recent news of the sudden death of Davy Jones, Captain Jack Sparrow has offered his condolences to the family of his one time enemy.

Captain Jack Sparrow - visibly moved by the sad news

March Caption Contest

Contest Closed

For those who don't know, a caption contest revolves around you, the reader, submitting a short phrase via the comments section which, when combined with the supplied image, makes a comedy moment.

The STP caption contest is just for fun and we do not offer any prizes, unless you consider being highlighted on this website and being admired by your peers to be a prize.

The contest closes at Midnight CST on 31st March 2012 and a winner will be selected from all valid submissions. The winner will be announced on 1st April 2012.

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