google.com, pub-9840409407193699, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slap The Penguin: 07/01/2013 - 08/01/2013

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Bubes Says - Happy Birthday Harry Potter

Hello again, it's me Bubes once more. Wow I have had such a busy day today. I was in the recording studio this morning, and I spent all afternoon dressed in a Gryffindor uniform as my favorite wizard. I am a huge Harry Potter fan and I really enjoyed cosplaying and celebrating his 33rd birthday.

Bubes Says - Happy Birthday Harry Potter
Has it really been 33 years already?

Monday, July 29, 2013

Random Penguin Fact #20

Random Penguin Fact
Random Penguin Fact

Mr Rogers may have been a Nazi

+Ian C

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..." of Düsseldorf, Germany, where in 1919 Friedrich Rüger was born to German farmers, Ernst and Hilda Rüger. According to school records, Friedrich was an outstanding student who enjoyed music and also showed great compassion and empathy for his fellow students. Upon completing his basic education, Friedrich enrolled in the Berlin School of Music to study composition. Before he graduated, war broke out in Europe and Friedrich joined the German army to fight against the allies.

Friedrich Ruger March 1940
A photo of Friedrich Rüger from March 1940

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Donovan McNabb announces retirement

by +Titan Young

Hi readers, my name is Titan Young, and I am writing a guest sports post here on Slap the Penguin. This is like an audition for me so please comment and let the bosses know what you think. Thanks.

Ex-Minnesota Viking quarterback, Donovan McNabb, has announced that he is retiring from professional football this season, and he will be doing it as a Philadelphia Eagle, which is how he started his NFL career. He led the Eagles to a handful of NFC championship games and a Superbowl (2004) during his time with them.
Donovan McNabb as a Viking
"I get paid just to sit here?"

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Dear Tina - I yodel when I climax

by +Tina Cruris

Dear Tina, there is no other way of putting this, but when I reach climax I begin to yodel and continue to do so until fully satisfied.  This has not really been a big issue until recently when my 6 year old daughter overheard me and came into the bedroom to find out what I was singing about.

My husband of 8 years has learned to live with it, even though he says it's cute. It was also a reason why I was so 'popular' during my college years. Now, however, it is an embarrassment because I didn't realize how loud the yodeling actually was.

I have tried to bite down on a pillow and my husband has tried covering my mouth but the sound still gets out. I don't want to have to curb my sex life so what do you suggest I can do to enjoy sex without disturbing my children or causing embarrassment.

Sincerely,  Auntie Climax

Friday, July 26, 2013

Twinkies and other dirty cake names

by +Alexa Rankin

The newly relaunched Hostess brand, who are responsible for the infamous Twinkie, have denied claims that they deliberately gave their snack cakes dirty names to increase sales.

Hostess - Snack cakes with Dirty Names
Admit it, Hostess, you know what a Ding Dong is...

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Fox launch Celebrity Ninja for fall lineup

Midsummer is the time when the major TV networks announce their highlights for the fall season of televisual entertainment. In response to NBC's announcement of their new game-show, Moral Values, FOX revealed that their prime time programming will be lead by Celebrity Ninja.
Celebrity Ninja on FOX
Quality FOX programming - Celebrity Ninja

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Bubes Says - Adriaaaaaan

Hey Yo, I'm gonna be in a new movie. Ha fooled you, it's really me Michael Bublé. I was actually Sly's body double in Rocky II and Rocky III, but now he is too old and I can't pull off those sagging pecs anymore. So I won't be in the new Rocky movie.

Bubes Says - Adriaaaaaan
"There's not going to be another sequel"

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Huggies Royal Birth giveaway

by +Ian C

Great news for their Royal Highnesses William and Kate as they welcome Prince George to the world on July 22nd 2013. There is also great news for every couple who became a family on that day. 
Huggies Royal Giveaway
Huggies Royal Giveaway

Monday, July 22, 2013

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Zooey Deschanel - What is she thinking?

Am I the oonly person in the world who proonounces her name incorrectly? I say it like I see it, Zoo-ey. Like gooey with a Z. The oonly other entity in the entire universe that agrees with me is Google.

Zooey Deschanel
Thanks for the correction

Friday, July 19, 2013

Carmen Sandiego captured

by +Alexa Rankin

Since 1985 people (mainly children) have been searching for Super Villain and ex-ACME detective, Carmen Sandiego, while learning about geography and history.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego
I don't remember HER in the computer game version

Thursday, July 18, 2013

New NBC game show tests your moral values

by +Tina Cruris

The new fall season on NBC will bring a whole load of shows waiting to get cancelled. That's why NBC have changed it from the Fall lineup to the FAIL lineup. One of those shows which will be lucky to get through half a season is a game show called 'Moral Values'.

NBC's new game show, Moral Values
Moral values - What are your morals worth?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Bubes Says - It's bigger on the inside

Hello Whovians, it's me Michael Bublé a.k.a. Doctor Bubes. I have been having fun travelling through Time And Relative Dimensions in Space with my Time Lord buddies.

Bubes Says - It's bigger on the inside
and I'm not talking about my TARDIS

Monday, July 15, 2013

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Hybrid Animal Species

by +Ian C

I was embroiled in a discussion just a few days ago regarding the amazing creature known as a mule. The mule was not one of the creatures found on Noah's Ark, it's existence is entirely due to male donkeys getting it on with female horses resulting in a cross species pregnancy and birth.

A Mule
A Mule - The offspring of a male donkey and a female horse

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Royal baby birth parade route

by +Alexa Rankin

With the birth of Kate and William's baby just moments away, the palace have made public the official birth parade route. This is the first time a royal delivery has been mapped for the public to share.

Royal baby birthing parade route
Official royal baby birthing parade route

Friday, July 12, 2013

George Clooney Gay Rumors

by +Tina Cruris

It's no secret that George Clooney and Stacy Keibler are no longer together. However, the big secret is the reason behind the split.
George and Stacy split
Oh no! The ripped photo cliché again?

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Happy Slurpee Day

Sorry, but there is not much else happening today so Happy Slurpee Day. A Slurpee is the frozen slush drink sold by 7-eleven stores and is the best known cause of the medical condition known as brain freeze.

A turdee by slurpee
Yes, you read it right

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Bubes Says - Wimble Done

Wow, what a weekend. I spent Sunday covering for Andy Murray in the Wimbledon Men's Final and ended up winning the whole thing. All the Brits are having a ball saying it's the first time in 77 years that a British man has won Wimbledon, and who am I to disappoint them?

Bubes Says... Wimble Done
You're welcome, Andy Murray

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

North West baby name revelation


Kim and Kanye have faced their share of mocking since announcing the name of their new baby daughter. Aside from giving her an unusual name, North, they were also panned for not continuing the tradition of giving a Kardashian child a K-name.

Kim, Kanye and Kid
Kim, Kanye and Kid

Monday, July 8, 2013

Sunday, July 7, 2013

What got slapped 12 months ago - July 2012

Slap the Penguin: What got slapped 12 months ago - July 2012. by +Tina Cruris

This is yet another reslap, a look back at what was happening on our pages this time last year. It's fun to look back at Slap the Penguin 12 months ago and see how much better the writing was.

I hope you have fun trawling the archives. We are fast approaching our 3rd anniversary and have recently passed the 500 post mark so there is a lot of old stuff to wade through. I know you will find it worthwhile if you give it a chance.
(HINT: click the titles to read the full story).

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Dead body causes reality TV cancellation

by +Alexa Rankin

The new TLC reality show about hoarders called 'That's My Junk' has been cancelled after just 3 shows after a dead body was found buried in one of the junk filled homes.

That's my Junk title screen
That's My Junk - not hosted by Anthony Wiener or Hulk Hogan

Friday, July 5, 2013

Queen's list of no-no names for royal baby

by +Ian C

With the imminent arrival of the newest royal baby, we have discovered that Her Majesty Elizabeth II who recently celebrated her 60th year on the British Throne has provided William and Kate with a list of names which are NOT to be given to her great grandchild.

Queen Elizabeth lays down the law
Queen Elizabeth lays down the law

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy Republic Day to The Philippines

by +Tina Cruris

Today is July 4th and I want to wish all of our readers in the Philippines a Happy Republic Day. Republic Day celebrates the recognition of independence of the Philippines by the United States in 1946. This is a celebration which is often overlooked because it happens on the same date as American Independence Day which is obviously far more important than anybody else's day.
Independence Days for America and the Phillipines
Yay for American Independence Day

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Bubes Says - You forgot Canada Day

Hello again, it's me, Michael Bublé your favorite Canadian crooner. I know you are all getting set to celebrate the 4th of July tomorrow, so I will keep it short and simple for you this week.

Bubes Says - You forgot Canada Day
Look it's Uncle Sham

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

8 Bit News - Spanish teacher fired over previous job

by +Alexa Rankin

8-Bit News
Welcome back to another 8-Bit News post, where we focus on the story not on the pictures. All the images in this post have been reduced to 8-bit format to avoid distraction from the important parts of the post.

Today we have an interesting tale of a teacher who was fired because of his previous acting career.

Monday, July 1, 2013

July Caption Contest

Welcome to the second half of the year, and since we are entering a new month then it must be time to launch the July caption contest. Thanks to everyone who entered the June contest; the winner is announced below.

The rules of the caption contest are simple. Look at the picture below and think of a witty tagline or caption to enhance the comedic value of the image. Then enter your caption HERE or in the comments section below. The funnier the caption, the more chance you have of winning. Please do not attempt to bribe the judges by emailing photos of yourself to boobypics@slapthepenguin.com.

Pretty simple, yes? OK so off you go. Contest closes at midnight on July 31st STP time.

Random Penguin Fact #16

Random Penguin Fact
Random Penguin Fact

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