Monday, June 20, 2011

Wimbledon Chiefs pull 2010 stunt again

Last July we revealed that the Executives at Wimbledon planned and executed a marathon match in an attempt to steal viewers from the Soccer World Cup [story] and it appears that they are doing the same thing this year, placing John Isner and Nicolas Mahut head to head in a first round matchup.
Isner and Mahut after 11 hours of tennis
I can't do this again, my body hates me

Are you too ugly to be online dating?

A dating website which deals exclusively with aesthetically pleasing clients has kicked out 30,000 members because they have since been deemed too ugly to be on the site. It is reported that they were only permitted to join thanks to a virus in the system and not because they were physically attractive.
You may not be able to join, but you can at least see what you're missing

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Brad Pitt - from Buff to Scruff to Drug Dealer

El Brad Pitt was arrested in Mexico on June 16th 2011 and charged with being a drug dealer. Now that I have your attention, I should maybe avoid a lawsuit and explain that it is not the actor Brad Pitt who is a drug dealer, but Marco Antonio Guzman Zuniga who got the nickname El Brad Pitt because of his likeness to the extremely sexy movie star.

Marco Guzman disguised as Inglorious Basterd, Brad Pitt
MAGZ disguised as Inglorious Basterd, Brad Pitt.
A remarkable likeness especially around the mouth.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Give a penny, just don't give 2500

Jason West from Vernal, Utah begrudgingly paid a medical bill and was arrested and charged for disorderly conduct. Mr West did not believe he owed the money, but the clinic insisted and threatened legal action to reclaim the outstanding debt.
2500 pennies
Not legal tender?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Bubes versus TMIMITW

The old guy from the Dos Equis commercial has sent an email to our very on Bubes saying “Nut Up or Shut Up”. It is no secret that ex-international playboy and super-crooner Michael BublĂ© has been doing some pretty interesting things, and has alluded that the title of TMIMITW should be his.
TMIMITW Dos Equis Dude
TMIMITW says 'Nut Up or Shut Up, Bubes'

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Dear Tina - Multitools for Father's Day

I have received a couple of emails from people asking me what they can get their dad for Father's Day. I assume that you don't all share the same father since none of you were born in Austria or California, so I shall give you all some good generic Daddy Day advice.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Ohio woman angry over mistyped recipe

An Ohio woman is angry at her neighbor over a badly typed recipe. Martha Smith of Bay Village, OH, kindly obliged when her longtime neighbor, Maria Corona, asked to use her famous barbecued ribs recipe.

A Typewriter
An old style typewriter similar to that used by Martha Smith

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What has Anthony Wiener started?

Slap the Penguin has never jumped on the sensationalism bandwagon, preferring instead to report the serious news stories. We declined to lower ourselves and add to the Schwarzenegativity surrounding Arnie's infidelity and separation and we were not planning on getting any cheap hits from Anthony Wiener and his Twitter pictures.
This is wrong on so many levels
1) Not Wiener's actual picture.
2) I am confused. I thought 'boyshorts' were for women.

Monday, June 6, 2011

MTV = Moronic Twilight Vampire

Robert Pattinson showed of his lack of talent, comedic timing and discretion at the MTV awards last night. Pattinson, 25, was delivering a summary of his work with Reese Witherspoon when he F-bombed the already risque ceremony.
Robert Pattinson is an anagram of Arsehead Penis
Robert, you're not sparkling and you look gormless

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