google.com, pub-9840409407193699, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slap The Penguin: 01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011

Monday, January 31, 2011

Movie Review - Avatar

Image from Netflix
Avatar
2009 PG-13 162 minutes

NETFLIX SAYS - Disabled Marine Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) travels to planet Pandora to become an avatar, ingratiate himself with the natives and help Americans mine lucrative unobtainium. But he finds himself in an interstellar conflict after falling for Na'vi warrior Neytiri (Zoe Saldana). James Cameron writes and directs this Golden Globe-winning CGI odyssey that has broken box office records. Sigourney Weaver and Stephen Lang co-star.


Facial Hair February

With the exception of Valentines Day and the Super Bowl, the month of February is pretty much uneventful. In an effort to revitalize the four weeks between January and March, Facial Hair February was created.
Beards, nature's contraceptive
Especially in February

Sunday, January 30, 2011

The 1st Annual Slap The Penguin Awards

Hello and welcome to the 1st annual(?) My Twist News Slap the Penguin Awards or 'Slappys' as they are going to be affectionately named.

The Slap the Penguin Award, A.K.A. "The Slappy" TM

Friday, January 28, 2011

Regis Philbin replacement announced

Rumors are filling the interwebs about who Kelly Ripa's permanent co-host will be on 'Live with Regis and Kelly'. Some say Kelly's husband and occasional Regis substitute, Mark Consuelos will take the slot, while others claim that Anderson Cooper, another Philbin fill-in is favorite. My Twist News Slap The Penguin is pleased to exclusively announce Regis Philbin's successor.
Marc and Anderson - FAIL
Sorry, neither of you are man enough to take over from Regis

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Jude Law to star as Prince William in new Royals movie

2012 heralds the release of a new movie covering the life and times (so far) of the most exciting Royal personage since Diana, Princess of Wales.
The Royals Banner
The Royals, opens in 2012

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

New CD releases for February 1st

Not much happening here in musicville this week. I am lying, there is lots happening, but most of it is too dull to report here. I have assembled what I consider to be the best of what was available to me at the time. If you have an opinion on anything you see here then leave a comment. Sometimes people have alternate opinions and I would love to hear what you think about my musings. As always, hover over the image for a link to purchase. Enjoy.



 

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Ted Williams – Trading Places

Anyone who has seen US daytime TV over the last 3 weeks probably knows the story of Ted Williams, the homeless guy who was plucked from the streets by Dr Phil McGraw, given a bath and a makeover, sent through rehab and is soon to be deposited into a high profile, high paying announcers job.
Ted Williams - Before and After
Ted Williams - Before and After

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dear Tina - Does Size Matter?

Dear Tina,
I am 19 years old, 5 ft 6 and weigh 290lbs. My penis is 4 inches long and 3 inches around when erect. Will it get bigger as I get older? I have heard that losing weight will make it grow. I am concerned that I will be unable to satisfy my girlfriend with it. What can I do?

Please help, Desperate Reader.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Bono finally finds what he is looking for

U2's The Joshua Tree was released in May 1987 to universal critical acclaim, but 1 song from the multi-million selling album has perplexed listeners for nearly 25 years. On track 2, Bono sings 'I still haven't found what I’m looking for' causing people to query exactly what Bono needs to find so desperately that he wrote a song about it.
Joshua Tree (Remastered / Expanded) (Deluxe Edition) (2CD)
The album that started it all

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Valentine's Day

Ok, I get it. I am the girl. Therefore I am the romantic. Hence I get to write the valentine's day story.


A print out and keep reminder

Friday, January 14, 2011

WTF? - Horror-scopes

As the rotation of the Earth slows, the direction of magnetic North is shifting towards Moscow, causing chaos for pilots trying to land at a Tampa airport.

Silva Lensatic 360 Compass
You could need one of these
This is however of miniscule significance when compared to how the accompanying celestial shift has caused me to move from being a challenging and impulsive Aries to a conservative, concrete Taurus.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Another Swift romance

It seems that once again love spits in the face of teen country sensation, Taylor Swift, as she very publicly splits with another beau. Slap the Penguin digs around to find out why the teen heart throb cannot hold onto a man for more than 3 months?
I wish I knew how to quit you
"I wish I knew how to quit you"

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Top Ten posts of 2010

Originally Scheduled for 12/31/10
but you just can't trust some people to get things right

The end of the year draws ever closer and it is the time for being retrospective.

Since the inception of My Twist News Slap the Penguin in July 2010 we have uploaded over 130 posts, and have made at least 7 people laugh (we get fan mail and various comments saying so).

Using a mirror to look back at 2010. Clever.
Oooh, nobody has ever used that mataphor before

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog

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