Monday, July 30, 2012

Hope Solo conceived in prison

The US female Olympic soccer goal keeper, Hope Solo, was conceived in prison. That's not news, everybody knew that. BUT, what you may not have known (until now) is that the prison was detention block AA23 on an Imperial Star Destroyer in a galaxy far, far away.

Hope Solo, and the character, Han Solo
Star Wars IV - A New Hope

WWW = Wyoming Without Web users

Wyoming has never been considered cutting edge when it comes to technology, but you would think that they would at least have the internet there.

montage of web browser icons plus a question mark
A selection of browsers now available in Wyoming

Friday, July 27, 2012

Kristen Stewart - not so Snow White after all

Rumours abound that Twilight megastar Kristen Stewart cheated on her boyfriend and Twilight co-megastar Robert Pattinson, on the set of her recent movie, Snow White and the Huntsman.
Chris Hemsworth as Thor and a slutty Snow White
Chris Hemsworth was not on Snow White's radar

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

WTF with all the vodka flavors

Dictionary Definition
vod·ka noun \'väd-kə\
A colorless, odorless and flavorless liquor of distilled spirits from a mash (as of rye or wheat) 
overpouring vodka into a shotglass
I need a bigger glass

Monday, July 23, 2012

Top Olympic athletes harassed by gold buyers

You may have seen the commercials telling you that gold prices are at an all time high, and now is the time to sell that old unwanted jewelry. There are even gold buying stores popping up in malls across the country, offering to pay top dollar for unwanted gold, silver or platinum trinkets.
Graph displaying gold prices increasing
"Gold prices are at an all time high"

Jack in a box

Every liquor producer in the world is publicly encouraging us to enjoy their product responsibly and drink in moderation and yet their increasing package sizes send out a different message. The sudden increase in availability of numerous beer brands in the 16 ounce can format, which are quickly becoming known as 'pounders', suggest that alcoholic beverage producers want us to drink more.

The newest large format product due to be released upon the unsuspecting (21+) public comes from Jack Daniel's and will be known as 'Jack in a box'. Basically this is a 3 liter wine box but with 80 proof Jack Daniel's inside the bag, rather than Franzia White Zinfandel.
3 liter box of Jack Daniels Whiskey
Jack in a box - 3 liters of Jack Daniel's in a bag-in-box format

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Give cotton for a second anniversary

Did you know that today is Slap the Penguin's second anniversary?
Did you also know that the traditional gift to give someone on a second anniversary is cotton?
Did you know that this is a perfect opportunity to alert you all to the fact that you can get an awesome cotton shirt with a unique Slap the Penguin theme?

It was 2 years ago today...

This has nothing to do with Sgt Pepper and everything to do with Sgt Penguin. Today is the second anniversary of Slap the Penguin, or My Twist as it was called 731 days ago. The first ever post was published on 22nd July 2010 and was titled "Easy Targets - Mel Gibson and BP"

An aged photographic representation of the first Slap the Penguin post
The first ever post when we were called My Twist

Friday, July 20, 2012

2nd Anniversary: Shameless Request

Hi, I'm Alexa Rankin, and I am still the newest member of the Slap the Penguin team. Anyone who has been paying attention to our site recently will know that we are fast approaching our second anniversary and I would like to take the opportunity to send a request out to all the loyal (and not so loyal) readers to like our facebook page.
Once 30 people like your Page....

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

United Airlines close mile high club

United Airlines are taking a step closer to being called Non-United Airlines by clamping down on passengers using the airplane toilets to join the infamous mile high club, with their 'No Double Occupancy' rule.
United Airlines ban 'Double Occupancy' of their toilets

Sunday, July 15, 2012

What brings you here?

As part of our second anniversary 'celebration' I am looking at how most of you people got here. According to a trusted source, two thirds of you penguin slappers came via a google search, but what exactly were you looking for?
Actual top 500 'Keyword Cloud' from

Friday, July 13, 2012

Just Curious - July

How many have you noticed the Just Curious poll over there? -->

This month I am curious about the mix of males and females visiting the site so please take the opportunity to register your sex and share vital demographic data with our sponsors who will use this information to decide whether to put ads for Tools or Dish Soap on our site. You have until July 31st to make your opinion count.

Friday 13th part II

Rather than write my own post, I will be lazy and just link a post from a previous Friday 13th, written by ex-penguin slapper Menaj Attwar.

Wow, stealing other peoples work is actually much easier than writing your own stuff. I wish I thought of that when I was writing homework assignments. Anyway, happy Friday 13th, be safe and try to avoid using clichés.
TGI Friday 13th

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Slap the Olympics

This July 27th, the entire planet will unite under the greatest sporting umbrella known to man, The Olympic Games.
Slap the Olympics

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Asian Scientists discover Buddha particle

Hot on the heels of western science announcing the discovery of the God particle, a group of Asian scientists working in Columbo, Sri Lanka have released evidence of the discovery of what they are calling the Buddha particle.
God Particle or a scene from Tron?

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Fan gets hit by foul ball while Facebooking

One of the first things you learn when playing sports is to KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL. This also applies when watching sports, especially when you are in danger of getting hit by flying objects during the game.

Travis Decker completely ignored this keen advice last Friday at the Reds vs. Padres game. Instead of watching an exciting game of baseball he was updating his facebook status, when out of the blue came a foul ball which gave him a little more than a 'Poke'.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Michael Phelps banned from entering the UK for the 2012 Olympics

UK immigration officials have announced that multi-gold winning US swimmer, Michael Phelps, will not be permitted to enter Britain to compete in the 2012 London Olympics due to his history of drug use.
Phelps hears the news of his UK ban

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Slap the Penguin's Second Anniversary

July 2012 is a very exciting month for the crew at Slap the Penguin, and not because we are fans of the Olympic Games. This July marks the second anniversary of Slap the Penguin across it's many (two) incarnations.
Awww, thanks. How thoughtful of you

Sunday, July 1, 2012

July Caption Contest

A new month means a new picture and hopefully a new funny caption. I have done my part, now it is up to you to add your unique brand of humor to an otherwise ordinary image.

The winner of the June contest can be seen at the bottom of this post.

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog