Friday, June 14, 2013

Hawking in custody: Execution scheduled

Attention people of Earth. We now have the rebel leader Professor Stephen Hawking in custody. He was delivered to us overnight by failed musician and father to be Kanye West, in exchange for amnesty from stasis for himself, Kim and their unborn child.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian +1
Kanye West looking guilty after selling out the human race

Now that Hawking is locked up and the rebel movement is quashed we can proceed unhindered with our plans to colonize your sad little planet. Hawking has already been found guilty by the 6th circuit pengaroo court, and sentenced to death. His execution has been scheduled for 3 p.m. on Saturday 15th June, and will be streamed live on all of our acquired internet channels for free.

Stephen Hawking behind bars
Stephen Hawking in our maximum security outdoor prison
Let this serve as a warning for you all. We will destroy anybody who stands in our way. Oh, I'm sorry, you joined the story half way through and don't have a clue whats going on. Allow me to summarize, we are an evil alien penguin race who traveled to Earth under the pretense of fixing global warming. Our true motive was to steal and colonize your planet and put you guys into stasis so that we had fresh food whenever we needed it.

Meanwhile, Stephen Hawking organized a group of rebels to stand up to our tyranny and fight for the planet but failed miserably because we are so superior. He will be executed tomorrow at 3 p.m. There, you are all caught up. For a detailed recap, click HERE.

You can send a farewell message to Professor Stephen Hawking by leaving a comment below.

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