Wednesday, June 12, 2013

US Gov issue 200,000 green cards to aliens

In an announcement earlier today, Ross Well, a spokesman for the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) announced that they will be issuing almost 200,000 green cards to aliens wishing to become United States residents.
A sample 'green card' for an alien penguin
This is just a sample, do not print it out and try to use it...
We are pleased to announce that the US Government have welcomed us to the planet and we trust that you, the rest of Earth's inhabitants, will also welcome us with open arms. Upon receiving our official cards, we plan on getting social security numbers and will either take low paying jobs in cheap motels, open franchised convenience stores or sit on our tail feathers claiming unemployment benefits and food stamps.

Nah, I'm just kidding. Each of us has a role to play in the georenewal of your planet and we won't have time to sit around spending tax-payers money or selling Slurpees to stoned teens.

We will gladly reciprocate by offering paid transport to our home planet of Aptenodytes, and giving residency permits to 20,000 Americans, so that they may become our slaves allies and work in our ice mines harmoniously for global peace. To sign up, send an email to or comment below making sure to leave your name and shackle size.

No comments :

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog