Sunday, June 23, 2013

John Wayne Bobbitt Re-Membered

by +Ian C

It was 20 years ago today in Manassas, Virginia, that Lorena Bobbitt got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. She returned to the bedroom refreshed and with a sharp knife in her hand. She then proceeded to sever her husbands entire penis.

John Wayne Bobbitt crime scene reconstruction
John Wayne Bobbitt crime scene reconstruction
She then took the penis for a little drive and threw it out of the car into a field. It was then that Lorena realized the severity of what she had done and called 911. The entire local police force were called in to help search for the missing penis, they even brought in the tracking dogs to assist with the hunt. The penis was eventually found and packed in ice so that it could be reacquainted with it's owner, John.
Manassas police dog finds John Bobbitt's penis
Sandy the police dog found JWB's johnson
At the time, I doubt that John Bobbitt realized that this would be a life changing event for him since he was laying in a hospital bed, worried about his missing junk. The frozen dicksicle eventually caught up with John in the hospital and after a grueling 9 1/2 hour surgery, doctors James T. Sehn and David Berman managed to reattach it.

Lorena Bobbitt was tried and found not-guilty due to insanity causing an irresistible impulse to sexually wound her husband. As a result, she could not be held liable for her actions.

John Wayne Bobbitt's movie career
If my penis had been removed and reattached
I would want to stick it in these women too...?!?!
In addition to the stress of being castrated and 'remasculated', John also faced mounting legal and medical bills which he could not afford, so he turned to porn. He had a prominent part in both 'John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut'(1994) and 'Frankenpenis'(1996). The rest of the story after that gets pretty dull - a move to Vegas, several confrontations with the law, a stand off with Sharon Osbourne then quiet obscurity.

He is not linked in anyway to the children's toy Bop It and probably with good reason.
Bobbitt, not a kids game
Twist it...Flick it...Pull it...Cut it...Bobbitt
On a side-note, while trawling Yahoogle for pictures of Sandy the police dog, a search for "Dog eating a sausage" returned this image:

Michelle Bachmann at the Minnesota State Fair
Michelle Bachmann shows off her fund raising talents
 Here is a poll for you to declare your allegiance:

You can share the reasons for your vote in the comments section below.


Helena Fortissima said...

OMG...too funny! Loved it, especially that hideous picture of Michelle Bachman with the weiner in her mouth. Just brilliant. Thanks for making me laugh!

Janene said...

Oh, man. Was that something or what? And all the jokes that resulted. I remember someone saying he got a job at Snap-On Tools. Love the photo of Bachmann, too. Hilarious!

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