Bubes Says - Stay away from him, YOU BITCH

Hi people of Earth, for those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Michael Bublé and I am a recording artist and an international superstar. However when I am not busy in the studio or being rich and famous around the globe, I like to get into some kind of adventure. This week, believe it or not, I recreated those happy times I spent as Sigourney Weaver's stand-in and stunt double when she played Ellen Ripley.

That's right Alien Penguins. Leave Stephen Hawking alone

Hawking in custody: Execution scheduled

Attention people of Earth. We now have the rebel leader Professor Stephen Hawking in custody. He was delivered to us overnight by failed musician and father to be Kanye West, in exchange for amnesty from stasis for himself, Kim and their unborn child.

Kanye West looking guilty after selling out the human race

Alien Penguins: The Real Story

People of Earth. While it is true that we have crossed galaxies to visit your planet to reverse global warming, the rest of our story was not entirely accurate. We were not planning on waking your race up after 1000 years of hibernation. The real reason for keeping you alive in stasis is to provide fresh food for those of us who volunteered to colonize your planet.

Alien Penguin with a death ray

US Gov issue 200,000 green cards to aliens

In an announcement earlier today, Ross Well, a spokesman for the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) announced that they will be issuing almost 200,000 green cards to aliens wishing to become United States residents.

This is just a sample, do not print it out and try to use it...

Stephen Hawking: Intergalactic Terrorist

Greetings 3rd planet dwellers, my name is ελκυστική κυρία πιγκουίνος which translates to Elkystikí̱ Kyría Pinkouínos in Earth speak. First I would like to correct your greatest astronomical thinkers and confirm that Pluto is in fact a planet.

It's easy to differentiate between our sexes

Random Alien Penguin Fact #13

Random Alien Penguin Fact

A message from an Alien Penguin race

Greetings residents of Earth, my name is το-κακό αλλοδαπός πιγκουίνος or in your language, To-Kakó Allodapós Pinkouínos.

I represent a species from the planet Aptenodytes, in the galaxy of Forsteri and we come in peace. We have monitored your Earth communications for some time waiting for the time when you are ready to comprehend our existence. 

Alien Penguin - "We come in peace"