Super Bowl LI kills The Celebrity Apprentice

By +Alexa Rankin

The New Celebrity Apprentice has already seen it's lowest viewing figures since records began 14 seasons ago, but tonight could mark an all time low in viewership numbers thanks to Super Bowl LI. With at least 100 million people tuning in to see Tom Brady's Patriots lose to playing America's favorite Atlanta Falcons it is possible that Arnie's Apprentice could actually have less than 1 million viewers tonight.

You're Terminated/Get to da Chopper/I'll be back, you wont/Consider this a divorce
Pick your cliché

The 7th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards

By +Ian C

Welcome to the 7th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards, or The Slappys™ as they are rapidly becoming known. This year's event will be short and sweet since we only published nine posts in 2016 and four of those were recap/review posts, so sit down, relax, and enjoy the next 3½ minutes.

The remake was awful so we borrowed this image instead

Today is Sunday 7th

By +Alexa Rankin

While the title may be self explanatory and rather obvious, the meaning behind it is not known to anywhere near enough people yet. A very large percentage of the human race is familiar with the ominous date of Friday 13th. A day where many vow to stay away from black cats and ladders at least until noon when the superstitions can no longer hurt you. My colleague, Tina, came up with a great idea in September 2103 to balance out all that potential bad luck. 

Sunday 7th - luckiest day of the year

The 6th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards

By +Ian C

Welcome to the 6th Annual Slap The Penguin Awards, affectionately known as The Slappys™. We weren't even sure if this event would go ahead, and even as I am typing this, I am not 100% convinced that it will still happen, so if you aren't reading this then it didn't get published and the world missed out on an awesome online award presentation.

Jada Pinkett Smith launches "The Black Oscars"

By +Alexa Rankin

Hollywood has again been rocked by racism as "The Academy" is called out for not nominating a single black person for an award. An ever growing list of black stars are threatening to boycott this years Academy Awards, leaving host, Chris Rock, as the only black person in the Dolby (née Kodak) Theater. Jada Pinkett Smith was so furious about her husband, Will, being blackballed (metaphorically speaking) that she is having her own 'Black Oscars' instead.

Jem and the Holograms movie pulled after 2 weeks

By +Alexa Rankin

Anybody who has visited the movie theater in the last week may have noticed (but probably didn't notice) that the 80's reboot, Jem and the Holograms was no loner playing, after Universal and Blumhouse Productions decided to pull the plug. It would have happened sooner if the theater were not contractually obliged to present the movie for a minimum of 2 weeks.

A clip from the Jem and the Holograms movie

Priest speaks out against pubic shaving

By +Alexa Rankin

Father Wade Mackenzie of St. Martin's Catholic church in Pittsburgh, has stunned his congregation, and is gathering a strong viral following after his comments on personal grooming during last Sunday's service. While preaching about the sins of the flesh he surprisingly shared his interpretation of what God thought about trimming and shaving the pubic region.

Father Mackenzie and his spiritual triangle

Doobie, or not doobie? That is the question

By +Alexa Rankin

A joint investigation between South Africa’s University of the Witwatersrand and the Stratford-upon-Avon town council have announced that 4 pipes found in the garden of the world famous writer, William Shakespeare, have tested positive for cannabis.

William Shakespeare, without pipe

The Fitbit fad.

By +Alexa Rankin

For many people, fitness is about walking, running, cycling or swimming to stay in shape and maintain good health, but now there there is a new breed of fitness enthusiasts who measure their success by the number of steps recorded on their Fitbit.

Danae demonstrates how to put on a Fitbit device

Benedict Cumberbatch can't say 'penguin'

By +Alexa Rankin

In 2009, the sexy voiced Benedict Cumberbatch narrated a BBC documentary called Wild Pacific, which in typical BBC documentary fashion contained some beautiful images and some amazing nature and wildlife footage. The one thing that spoiled it was Benedict's inability to correctly pronounce the word 'penguin'. For many, this may not be a big issue, but for someone who is intrinsically linked with the monochromed flightless bird it's a deal breaker.

Benedict Cumberbatch dressed like a pengwing pengling penguin

Celebrate LGBT Pride Month with a sandwich

By +Alexa Rankin

For many members of the population, June is LGBT Pride Month, and is celebrated to honor the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. A series of spontaneous riots broke out in Manhattan, New York in response to a police raid on the Stonewall Inn on June 28th 1969. One local business is celebrating in their own way by making a special LGBT Sandwich available for this weekend only. 

LGBT Sandwich from the Original Sandwich Shoppe

Top 5 ways to learn Chinese

By +Alexa Rankin

There are many methods of learning Chinese available today, across a range of budgets, each one using a slightly different style and with varying levels of results. Read on to discover the top 5 ways to become conversationally fluent in Chinese.

The picture says it all. Top 5 ways to learn Chinese

Caitlyn Jenner broke the internet

By +Alexa Rankin

What is it with that damn Kardashian family constantly breaking the internet. Do they not realize how many people are totally dependent on the internet for facebook, twitter and for work? This time it was Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner posing on the cover of Vanity Fair as a woman.

Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenner

FBI on alert after another King found dead

By +Alexa Rankin

Federal agents are on alert after the recent spate of deaths of musicians with the last name King. Blues legend B.B, King was found dead the other day, less than two weeks after the death of singer Ben E. King. The FBI are not yet suggesting that the deaths were related, but, the FBI don't believe in coincidences either.

Ben E. King and B.B. King

Do vampires really sparkle in sunlight?

By +Alexa Rankin

There have been some recent modifications to vampire lore thanks to the popularity of the Twilight books and movies, and TV shows like The Vampire Diaries. You may even say that they have been revamped (I'm not even remotely sorry for that one). The one modern misconception is that vampires are not only able to move around during the daytime, but they sparkle when sunlight hits their body.

Edward Cullen - Brooding with angst and sparkle

50 Shades of Grey- The Animated Series

By +Alexa Rankin

With the success of the E.L. James novels and the movie raking in over $250 million at the worldwide box office, the 50 shades franchise is definitely a money spinner. At least that's exactly what a small production company in Reno, NV are hoping for. Christasia Productions have signed an exclusive deal to produce 2 seasons of an animated show based on characters from the 50 Shades universe.

Coming soon to a cable channel near you

Amazon's 1-click hookers

By +Alexa Rankin

Amazon's Home Services officially launched this week, offering over 2.4 million 'contractors' across 700+ categories from plumbing to home theater installation to goat rental. We even found what appeared to be a page offering the world's oldest professional service.

Amazon Home Services offer almost everything

Friday 13th part VII

By +Alexa Rankin

This Friday 13th came round really quickly. It seems like only last month that Sue was inducted into the series of STP F13 posts. Essentially what we do for our F13 posts is regurgitate the same old story, but with a slightly different theme.

Friday 13th Episode VII - The Friday Awakens

Who is your favorite Taylor Swift lookalike?

By +Alexa Rankin

Have you ever wondered what Taylor Swift would look like if she was a man? 5 finalists have been selected for the world's weirdest Taylor Swift lookalike contest and we want your help to select the winner. The Maylor Swift contest is a men only battle to be crowned as the person most resembling Taylor Swift. Since nobody in the real world takes this kind of nonsense seriously, the organizers look to fringe websites with weird followers (like STP) to promote the contest and collect the votes. Take a look at the finalists...

Taylor Strauss, Peter Ostrum, Bingo, Fabio Lanzoni Jr. and Jeff Bonner

New York City unveils electric police cars

By +Alexa Rankin

Government departments are under constant pressure and scrutiny to adopt cleaner, greener methods while staying within federal budgets and maintaining service levels. While this is a tricky tightrope for anybody to walk, the city of New York is doing it's part by introducing electric police cars to the fleet.

The original concept for the electric cop car