Saturday, July 13, 2013

Royal baby birth parade route

by +Alexa Rankin

With the birth of Kate and William's baby just moments away, the palace have made public the official birth parade route. This is the first time a royal delivery has been mapped for the public to share.

Royal baby birthing parade route
Official royal baby birthing parade route

The royal baby's journey already began 9 months ago in Fallopian Way leading into Uterus Terrace where it has been waiting patiently for the delivery parade to begin. When ready, the baby will proceed south following the path of Old Uterine Wall, leading to Cervix Alley where the parade will halt for an undisclosed period of time.

From Cervix Alley the parade will continue south and eventually approach Labia Lane ultimately appearing to the reception committee waiting outside Vagina Court. The parade may also spend a few moments prior to arrival, tearing through Perineum Park before returning to the original route.

In the event of an emergency an alternate escape route has been planned, with the royal baby party departing directly through Abdominal Way. The exact details for this eventuality will be handled by C Section.

Each leg of the parade will begin spontaneously when the baby is ready. Unfortunately we don't have an exact schedule for the timing of these events, and we have been advised that it could take a number of hours for the parade to conclude after it has begun.

deLIVEry map

It should also be noted that the area immediately surrounding the parade route is closed to pretty much everyone outside of the delivery team, but you can follow along with deLIVEry map, the realtime live delivery map app available for iPhone and android.


Joel Klebanoff said...

I'm wondering how they are going to string royal standard flags up along the route and who is going to do that.

And what sort of photos will the tabloids publish after the parade? (I know it's closed to them, but the paparazzi can do amazing things with telephoto lenses these days.)

Brad Naylor - Slap the Penguin said...

The decoration is a special type of bunting called cun... Never mind

Janene said...

You made me giggle. :)

Alexa Rankin - Slap the Penguin said...

Yeah, I know, right?
I made myself giggle when I was writing it.

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog