Monday, December 30, 2013

Random Penguin Fact #42


Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Voice loser blames prejudice for his defeat

It's time for another guest post and this one comes from someone calling themselves KRP-11. Enjoy.

The fifth season of NBC's most popular talent show, The Voice, has recently ended with Tessanne Chin being declared the winner. Even more recently, one of the show's losing contestants has come forward claiming that he was the victim of prejudice which led to his elimination after making the top 5.

the Voice 2013
CeeLo Green, Brad Paisley Christina Applegate and Adam Levine

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Voodoo Medicine

A Louisiana medical center has introduced a radical new outpatient service which involves a combination of two ancient and contrasting systems. Acupuncture is an almost 4000 year old medical practice involving the insertion of needles into key areas of the human body, while Louisiana Voodoo is around 300 years old and utilizes black magic and involves the insertion of needles into a likeness of a human to cause harm to that person.
Voodoo Acupuncture
You may feel a small prick...

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Bubes Says - Merry Christmas

Hi Ladies, it's me again. I want to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas. Unfortunately I wont have time to deliver my message to each of you personally so I am sharing it here also.

Bubes Says - Merry Christmas
That seam in my pants makes it look like I have reindeer toe

Monday, December 23, 2013

Random Penguin Fact #41

Random Penguin Fact
Random Penguin Fact

Saturday, December 21, 2013

A great week for Chinese science

This is another entry to our 2014 STP Guest Post Contest. From the keyboard of (her words) long time fan, Jean Poole. Jean does not currently have a blog or a website so we can't promote her here. So go visit www.obamacare.com or something instead.

It has been an historic week for Chinese Science both here on Earth and in space. This is an extract from the latest edition of the Chinese science magazine, 'Chinese Science Magazine'.

Chinese Science Magazine
Chinese Science Magazine

Thursday, December 19, 2013

WTF? Cray Cray Adorbs

by +Alexa Rankin

Some of you will have come across the new series of Sprint commercials featuring James Earl Jones and Malcolm McDowell where the two world renowned actors voice act a series of social media conversations. I am not sure if Sprint considered that the roles that each of these men are best known for are amongst cinema's most evil.

Actors from Sprint Commercial
Did Sprint research their past?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Bubes Says - Happy 50th Birthday, Brad Pitt

Hi ladies, are you ready for a real treat? My very good friend, Brad Pitt is celebrating a milestone birthday today (let's face it, when you get to his age, every birthday is a milestone).

Bubes Says - Happy 50th Birthday, Brad Pitt
It's Trojan Man

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Will OK OK Satanic erection at the Capitol?

by +Tina Cruris

A year after a privately funded monument depicting the 10 Commandments was placed in the grounds of the Oklahoma Capitol, a group of Satan worshipers have announced plans to exercise religious equality and place a monument representing their own religion in the very same grounds.

The 10 commandments monument
the Ten Commandments monument

Monday, December 16, 2013

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Justin Bieber is Googled more than Jesus

Here is the first entry to our 2014 STP Guest Post Contest from Andrea Hernandez who can be found at www.thecreativepsycho.com Be sure to stop there AFTER you're finished here.

Who's Jesus you may ask? You know, Jesus with a ‘J’, the man who supposedly sacrificed himself for the people… Yeah him. Well, he's certainly not as popular as JB. Justin a small Canadian boy known for kicking national flags off stage, sleeping with prostitutes in Brazil and occasionally wearing his pants below his knees is today's leader in pop culture.

Bieber leaving a Brazilian brothel
Bieber after having a Brazilian

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Chess Boxing - Where brains and brawn meet

by +Alexa Rankin

I have just discovered a new sport which combines the tough, manly endurance of boxing and the geeky excitement of chess. Ladies and gentlemen I introduce to you ChessBoxing.

ChessBoxing is a real sport
ChessBoxing - this is the chess portion of the bout

Friday, December 13, 2013

Friday 13th part IV

by +Brad Naylor

The more of these we do, the harder it is to come up with something original...

Happy Friday 13th
Happy Friday Thirteenth

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Slap the Penguin Guest Post Contest 2014

by +Alexa Rankin

As the previous winner of the Slap the Penguin Guest Post Contest, it is my pleasure to announce that we are once again asking people to contribute a guest post. The concept is simple, just write a guest post in a style that would mesh seamlessly into our pages and we will feature our favorites here on this site. The best guest writer could become a member of the STP team.

Slap the Penguin 2014 Guest Post Contest
Slap the Penguin 2014 Guest Post Contest

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Bubes Says - Ben Affleck, Really?

Hey ladies, sorry about missing last week. I had this great Paul Walker post ready to go, and... well maybe when things settle down. Anyway, this is older news but there is not much else happening. Why is Ben Affleck playing Batman in the forthcoming Batman vs. Superman movie?

Bubes Says - Ben Affleck, Really?
Didn't Affleck already screw up Daredevil?

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Liam Neeson returns in Tekken 3

by +Ian C

In 2008 Bryan Mills and his particular set of skills (sounds like a character from Viz magazine) rescued his kidnapped daughter from a bunch of cutthroat Albanian traffickers. Then in 2012, the Albanians tried to take revenge on Bryan and his family and were once again outsmarted by the retired CIA guy. Now Bryan is back in Tekken 3 and this time he must battle against fighters from all around the world in order to defeat the evil Heihachi Mishima.

Liam Neeson in Taken 3
I can't believe I said yes to 'Battleship'

Monday, December 9, 2013

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Dear Tina - What does 'Slap the Penguin' mean?

by +Tina Cruris

Dear Tina, I have recently discovered your website and have spent quite a bit of time reading it. I particularly like reading Brad's posts. He is so funny... is he single?

Anyway, the reason I emailed your awesome advice column is to find out exactly what 'Slap the Penguin' means. I have Googled it and looked on Wikipedia, but I have not yet found the answer. My friends have their own theories, most of them are sort of rude so I need to prove them wrong and I figured you would probably know the answer.

Thanks, Miss Inquisitive.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Taylor Swift Poll - 1 year on

by +Ian C

12 months ago we published a post about Taylor Swift bouncing around from boy to boy after learning that she dumped Conor Kennedy in favor of One Direction's Harry Styles. The rumor is that Taylor uses these romances to get break-up material for her songs. Following on from the long list of ex-boyfriends we tangentially asked readers to vote on Taylor Swift's appearance.

Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift - Hot or not?

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

What is Lindsay Lohan up to now?

+Alexa Rankin

I was reading Tina's reslap post on Sunday and was actually wondering what Lindsay Lohan was up to. Then as if by magic, Google magic, I was alerted to the fact that LiLo has actually been quite busy recently. Not only is she suing the makers of the biggest video game of the year, but she has also announced her engagement.

Young Lindsay Lohan
A young Lindsay Lohan...

Monday, December 2, 2013

Sunday, December 1, 2013

December Caption Contest

Now that December is upon us we can announce the winner of our November caption contest. It was an uneventful contest with very few entries so picking a winner was easy. You can find out if that was you a little later. First we have to introduce the final caption contest of 2013.

By now you must know how this works, send us a caption for the following image either using the COMMENTS, through our FACEBOOK PAGE or via EMAIL. Make sure you get it to us before the end of the month, contest closes midnight on December 31st.

Here is the picture we want you to create a caption for...

What got slapped 12 months ago - December 2012

by +Tina Cruris

Thanksgiving is done for another year, which means that the year is just one holiday away from being done. But before we get to the end of the year we have time for one more reslap. Join me for a short ride (and this is a really short ride) around the penguin archives of December 2012.

Seasoned readers will know the drill, but for newbies, just scroll down and read the teaser. Then when you want to know more, just click the headline and be transported instantly* with the magic of hyperlink technology to that story (*we can not guarantee the instantness of your personal system configuration or internet service)

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog

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