Sunday, December 15, 2013

Justin Bieber is Googled more than Jesus

Here is the first entry to our 2014 STP Guest Post Contest from Andrea Hernandez who can be found at Be sure to stop there AFTER you're finished here.

Who's Jesus you may ask? You know, Jesus with a ‘J’, the man who supposedly sacrificed himself for the people… Yeah him. Well, he's certainly not as popular as JB. Justin a small Canadian boy known for kicking national flags off stage, sleeping with prostitutes in Brazil and occasionally wearing his pants below his knees is today's leader in pop culture.

Bieber leaving a Brazilian brothel
Bieber after having a Brazilian

Many of his followers stand outside his hotel rooms as he leans over his balcony like the Pope and blesses his fans with his 'Holy Spit' cleansing them of their innocence. Although, Jesus did beat JB in box office hits, JB takes the lead on Twitter with 47.6M followers while Jesus has a whopping 577.2K. Sorry Jesus, it's all about the followers. 

Bieber has previously stated that he is on a 'similar mission' as Jesus and that if Jesus were alive, he would have been a true 'Belieber'. He also said the same about Anne Frank but now he’s taking advantage because she was only 15 years old and at that age girls are hormonal and confused (real smooth Biebs). I mean JB's motto is "Never Say Never" although he did say it about 63 times not including whe’never’. 

He should have at least named the song, “I’ll Try Not To Say Never” as he proceeds to sing, “Never, never, never, never, never, never” but at least we’ll know he tried.

Jesus Christ with Tattoos
Jesus would be a Belieber...???
So Jesus, Google Trends are loud and clear. Even though your interest over time is steady, JB went from zero to Jesus in a matter of 7 years. If that is not a miracle then I don’t know what is.

Congratulations JB! Due to your baggy pants, shirtless encounters, and scandalous behavior, you have earned your title as the new Messiah, or shall I say ‘MESS’iah. Now go stand on your balcony and spit on your fans!

Andrea Hernandez
Blogger/ Student

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Thanks for entering the 2014 STP Guest Post Contest, Andrea. What a great news story, worthy of TMZ or E! but you chose us.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below so that we can grade this Guest Post Contest entry.  


Anonymous said...

You mean that now when I hit my finger with a hammer I have to shout "Biebus Christ"?

Paul Laslow said...

Back in the days of Jesus they didn't have Google, they used Jewgle.

Janene said...

And here I thought those bracelets that said "WWJD?" meant "What would Jesus do?" Could it really be "What would Justin do?"

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