Sunday, October 16, 2011

Harold Camping announces new Rapture date

It is official, the beginning of the end of the world commences less than 1 week from today. Harold Camping's latest guess for The Rapture is October 21st 2011. This is his second attempt this year to predict Judgement Day. Read about the May 21st miscalculation here.

Harold Camping didn't see this rapture coming 30 years ago
Blondie Rapture from 1981
Camping continues to move the goalposts, claiming that May 21st was the date of the 'Spiritual Rapture' and that Friday will bring the 'Physical Rapture'. He also suggests that the wrath of God will not be as violent as first suggested. So, the end of the world will be swift and quiet, and instead of the Four Horsemen, we may see the Five Ninja of the Apocolypse.
[technically if they are ninja then we wont actually see them as they are masters of stealth]

The Furious Five (without Grandmaster Flash)
Prepare to meet your maker
If you believe Harold Camping, then it is time for you to get your affairs in order (again). Here is a list of 5 things to do in the 5 days before the rapture:
  1. Remortgage your house and buy that flashy sports car.
  2. Tell your boss exactly what you think about him/her.
  3. Hit on your wife's best friend/sister/mother/all three.
  4. Buy a chainsaw and take care of your neighbors yappy dog.
  5. Line up the cast of Jersey Shore and punch them all in the face.
I'll teach you to bark at 3am

No comments :

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog