Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Lohan Family

A high court judge has ordered that the Long Island home of the Lohan family be converted to a prison. Bars will be added to each room and the doors will be reinforced and retrofitted with security locks. Armed guards will be assigned to ensure that everybody remains inside the minimum security facility.
Lindsay Lohan Behind Bars
Sorry Lindsay, not these bars.
The move comes in response to the Lohan family being a bunch of lawbreakers who can't stay out of trouble. Just last week, Michael Lohan was in court for going 'Chris Brown' on his girlfriend, Kate Major. The judge told Lohan to stay away from her. He was then re-arrested that same day for violating the judge's order and contacting Miss Major. He stupidly jumped off a balcony in an effort to evade capture by the authorities, and appeared in court in a wheelchair due to his self inflicted injuries.
Lindsay Lohan dressed for halloween
"What do you mean it's not Hallowe'en?"

This comes on the back of his daughter, Lindsay's, attempts to complete her community service at an LA morgue. She was sentenced to work for 16 hours at the morgue and is finding it difficult to arrive on time and stay for the duration. Lindsay sent a giant muffin basket to apologise for her tardiness but the gesture was refused by the morgue director. Sources close to Miss Lohan said that the role assigned to her was troubling and she was concerned that she would discover her career nestled among the dead and lifeless.
Lindsay Lohan naked in playboy - an artists impression
This does not count as community service
Rumors abound that Lindsay has been invited to pose naked for Playboy, and that she demanded $1 million for 'hooties, booty and coochy'. Actually what Playboy meant when they said 'a full spread' was a 4 page expose on Lohan's battle with her demons.


Anonymous said...

Possibly the best stick-figure drawing ever. I like the life-like lopsided boobs.

Tina said...

Thanks Doug. It's not every man that notices that boobs are never entirely symetrical. You must have some expeience in that field. Perhaps maybe you worked behind the unmentionables counter at Macys.

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