Wednesday, July 25, 2012

WTF with all the vodka flavors

Dictionary Definition
vod·ka noun \'väd-kə\
A colorless, odorless and flavorless liquor of distilled spirits from a mash (as of rye or wheat) 
overpouring vodka into a shotglass
I need a bigger glass

Tina's Definition

vodka drink \yum-ee\
A clear, odorless alcoholic liquid which tastes good in a tall glass with ice and 7up. Some is made from potatoes some is made from geese (grey ones) and some is made from grapes, but I prefer the ones made from vodka berries [lat. vodkanis lupimakis]. Some suggest that the origin of vodka is Russia and others say Poland. I say it's the liquor store, and I'm writing this so I'm right. Cheers.
OK so now that is clear, WTF is up with all the flavored vodka on the market right now? If you are old enough, go to your local liquor store and find the vodka section and look at all the different colored labels just in the Smirnoff section.

18 different flavors of smirnoff vodka
As Pop Will Eat Itself would say, "16 different flavors of hell"
In my simple world, vodka (by definition) is odorless and flavorless, so these bastard creations are technically not vodka and certainly don't taste like vodka. With flavors like lime, orange, cranberry and strawberry, you can get a feel for what the vodka companies (not just Smirnoff) are trying to do. They are looking to make the creation of mixed drinks easier and more exciting. By adding the flavor at source, they are eliminating the need for mixers and juices, while encouraging 'mixologists' to keep a range of flavored vodka on hand in order to create many different 'cocktails'.

Fine, I understand that. Personally I prefer the old fashioned method of flavoring my vodka - adding my own flavor. What I cannot comprehend or accept is the necessity to create wacky, off-the-wall flavors of vodka like marshmallow, cake or even bacon. WTF are these flavors supposed to be mixed with? Bacon vodka with eggnog?
bottle of bakon vodka next to bottle of eggnog
Bacon and eggs?
If you have ever tasted any of these 'creative' vodkas then you will have noticed that the flavor actually does taste like the description on the label. Technology has made it possible to concoct the taste and aroma in a lab and then infuse it into the vodka, but why do we need 31 weird flavors? Save that for Baskin Robbins ice cream.

The poll below is a bit of fun to see if you know (or can guess) which wacky flavors are available and which I made up. Please select the 5 flavors which you think don't exist (yet) and I will publish the results and the answers in a few weeks, so make sure you stop back and check to see if you were correct.

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