Thursday, July 22, 2010

Easy Targets - Mel Gibson and BP

Welcome to the inaugural post of My Twist (now known as Slap the Penguin), my own personal viewpoint of the headlines, whether big or small - local/national/global if I have an opinion then BAM.

First off, MEL COLUMCILLE GERARD GIBSON, the famous American actor who masquerades as a racist, woman hating Australian. [That's right folks, he was born in the US.] I have lost track of all the protected classes he has alienated, and I certainly wouldn't want to be a one-legged Swedish sex-change lesbian coming out of a synagogue when Mel has been drinking.

His alleged comments (alleged now that the integrity of the tapes is now in doubt) regarding oral sex and dwelling destruction remind me of the classic tale of the 3 little pigs.

B.B. Wolf - Little pig, little pig, let me come in (your mouth).
L.P. #1 - You can't put nuts on my chinny chin chin.
B.B. Wolf - Then I'll huff and I'll puff and burn your house down.
L.P. #1 - Bring it on Wolfie, who are the tabloids going to believe? Oh, and I am recording this, which is why I am staying so calm and baiting you into your psycho outbursts of hatred.

* * * * * *

As for British Petroleum and their crude behaviour, what more needs to be said. The spill is now the world's largest ecological disaster churning an estimated 140 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico. If only it was liquor, we could have Lindsay Lohan save the planet and work off her sentence with community service - cheers.
Only a week ago, the first cap was replaced with a second tighter fitting cap which was described as an 18 ft high, underwater Lego tower. I am definitely going to sleep better tonight knowing that BP has it's finest minds asking their children how to fix the leak.
"Here Dad look what I made to stop the oil."
"Thanks son, It looks just like a Lego tower. It's the best plan we have had since April 20th"

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