Sunday, May 17, 2015

FBI on alert after another King found dead

By +Alexa Rankin

Federal agents are on alert after the recent spate of deaths of musicians with the last name King. Blues legend B.B, King was found dead the other day, less than two weeks after the death of singer Ben E. King. The FBI are not yet suggesting that the deaths were related, but, the FBI don't believe in coincidences either.

Ben E. King and B.B. King
Ben E. King and B.B. King
Ben E. King, singer of Stand By Me, died on April 30th 2015 from coronary problems, and B.B. King died two weeks later from a series of small strokes brought on by Type 2 diabetes. Neither death has been reported as suspicious, but the Feds are not taking any chances.

The FBI have called in some of their best agents to assist in the case and as a precaution, singer Carole King and Slayer guitarist Kenny King have both been placed under 24 hour surveillance. 80's icon Paul King has also requested a security detail but has been denied. Special Agent Smith told us, "We are aware of Paul King's request and have denied it on account that he is Irish and most people have (quite rightly) forgotten 1984's 'Love and Pride'. He is far better known as a VJ and infomercial host than as a musician and, in the FBI's opinion, is not in any immediate danger."

Carole, Kenny and Paul
Carole, Kenny and Paul King
Agents are also on standby in the vicinity of Queen Latifah and Prince, in case the M.O. expands to cover all royally titled singers.

So far the FBI have not released a profile of the aptly named, King Killer, but I would imagine his description would be along the lines of '6 feet 6 inches tall; pale, skeletal complexion wearing long, black, hooded robes, and last seen carrying a scythe.'

Wanted by the FBI - Grim Reaper
Click to enlarge
As far a I am aware, no reward has yet been posted for information leading to the capture of the King Killer, but if he should happen to strike again, now that the case has gone public, I am sure that some form of fiscal remuneration would be in order.

On a side note, would you consider Paul King a musician worthy of FBI protection? How about after watching this video?


Please share your opinion about this story in the comments section below. We really do want to know what our readers are thinking. Was Paul King really a leprechaun in a former life? Would people say, "Oh my God, they killed Kenny" if the Slayer guitarist was next?

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