Saturday, April 19, 2014

New Turkey Boxing World Champion

By +Brad Naylor

The world of Turkey Boxing has a new champion this evening as 9 year old Jack 'Hammer' Johnson beat 13 year old 3 time champion 'Ironfist' Timmy Nelson with a 7th round knockout.

9 year old turkey boxing champ, Jack Johnson
Jack 'Hammer' Johnson celebrates his 7th round victory
Turkey boxing is a relatively new sport in which the combatants wear raw turkeys in place of boxing gloves and punch each other just like in a regular boxing match. The rules are very similar to regular boxing, in fact they are identical to regular boxing, except for the turkey gloves; and the age limit. Seriously, no-one over 15 would be seen dead with their fist in a turkey.

We had a chance to speak with Jack 'Hammer' Johnson via Skype after the fight. I asked him whether the fight played out according to his game plan. He told me, "I f**ked him up, just like I said I would. I told him not to mess with me or my bitches and he didn't f**king listen so I f**ked that little sh*t up. He's gonna be sucking his dinner through a f**king straw for a week. I hear he is used to sucking so it should be easy for him. I will f**k him up in the rematch too. Bring it on Nelson, you f**king f**kstick."

What a charming young man.

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