Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Top 10 iPhone apps and accessories

To celebrate the release (oops too late) of the iPhone 4, I have compiled a Top 10 list of iPhone apps and accessories that no self respecting iPhowner should be without.

10. How Much?
This useful little app will let you know, up to the minute how much it has cost you to own your iPhone and can estimate how much more money you will be required to hand over before your 2 year contract expires and you can be free of the ridiculous charges.

9. Penis Measure
A handy little tool for measuring your handy little tool. Since the iPhone is blessed with a 3 inch screen, 97% of iPhowners can get an accurate reading from this app.

The iPhone penis measurer
Measuring Tool?

8. iPhone Proximity Alert
Your iPhone vibrates like crazy to let you know when you are within 50 ft of another jerk iPhowner so you can whip yours out and pretend to be doing something really important and business like.

7. The iPhoney
A plastic replica of the iPhone with the best apps painted onto the pretend screen. Now you can look like a twat for a fraction of the cost.

6. Star Trek Apps
There are so many of these we could dedicate a whole Top 10 list to them, but here is a quick rundown of the best. See if you can guess what their function is:-
  • Communicator
  • Tricorder
  • Klingon Translator
  • TV series quote generator
  • Phaser sound simulator
The Star Trek iPhone App
Beam me up, Scotty
5. Mercedes Benz Locator
This only works if you own a Benz with the GPS software, but basically if you are dumb enough to forget where you parked your $100k car then this gadget will help you find it. Plus, you can remote start and remote unlock it too. Just don't leave your iPhone in the car.

4. iStatic
An app which takes the digital clear signal that you send and receive and mashes it with white noise to simulate poor reception. Steve Jobs insisted that this app comes as standard on all iPhones.

3. Pedometer
A pedometer. It measures how many steps you take. Not to be confused with paedometer an app devised by the Catholic church to monitor it's employees.

2. Morse code
Type in a phrase and the iPhone dit-dit-deet's out the Morse equivalent. BUT WAIT... it works in reverse too. Either allow the iPhone to 'listen' to the code or tap out the Morse message on the touchscreen and the message will appear in readable format on the screen.
Ironic really, 21st Century technology using a system developed in 1836. Hey kids, Morse Code is the new texting.

1. Kindle for iPhone
If you are into reading small books, or want to try to read a big book on a small screen then get this app. Just don't try it outdoors as it is too bright to read the screen comfortably, which is just as well because if you want to spend more than 15 minutes doing anything on your iPhone then you will probably want to be indoors and close to a power source with your charger handy.

Kindle for iPhone
This book is going to take days to read


susie said...

It looks more like a cheese grater to me!

Janene Murphy said...

Great post! I've GOT to get the Star Trek one. That looks cool. As for the Kindle -- so true!

Thanks for making me laugh.

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