Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Cubs Rookie is not a vampire

Tyler Colvin, the Cubs rookie outfielder was subjected to one of the most extreme vampire killing methods and survived.
The Cubbies new 3rd base coach waving home a runner
Colvin was running home from third when team mate Welington Castillo's maple bat cracked and sent shards and splinters flying. A rather hefty shard was sent in Colvin's direction and impaled him in the upper left chest area.

Instead of exploding in a ball of flame or 'melting' layer by layer until just skeletal dust remained, Colvin just clutched the wounded area before being taken to hospital to have the wound sutured and a tube inserted to stop his lung from collapsing. Reports from the hospital say that Colvin is fine and will make a swift recovery.

The Cubs issued a statement saying that Colvin will be out for the season, but refused to make a comment about the alleged vampire hunting activities of the organization. A source tells us that the Cubs will no longer be showing the Twilight movies on road trips.

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