Thursday, November 14, 2013

Dear Tina - My guy loves Arnie more than me

by +Tina Cruris

Dear Tina, I think my husband likes Arnold Schwarzenegger more than he likes me. Any time an Arnie movie comes on TV he insists on watching it and yells out catchphrases at the TV, even if they are not in the movie. 

The most annoying one is 'Geht tu dah choppuhr' which he does in a very guttural bad German accent. And then whenever we get a commercial break, he gets up to grab a beer or use the restroom and he says 'Ah'll be baaaack'. 

I don't think it would be so bad if he could do a decent Arnie impression and just do it once to get it out of his system, but it's all the way through the movie. Some days we don't even have to be watching a movie, he just blurts it out. It's like Arnie Tourettes or something.

Please help me before I terminate our marriage,
Mrs. Not an Arnie fan.

Dear Mrs. Not an Arnie fan, thanks for taking the time to write, and thanks for thinking of me as the person to put your marriage back on track.

For those readers who have no clue what Mrs. NAAF is going on about then here is a quick video of Arnie reliving the immortal line from the movie Predator.

Now imagine 'Get to the Chopper' looped and played continually throughout the course of a movie. I know how it feels because I had a boyfriend that did exactly the same thing. He loved those macho bullshit movies because they made them feel more manly, and I expect that your husband gets the same adrenaline rush that my guy did.

The last thing you want to do is break down his ego with a bunch of Schwarzenegativity, so encourage him to play out his fantasy, but explain that a true super soldier sometimes needs to use stealth rather than awesome one-liners. The other thing you can do is take him to the movies and let him see how the majority of men behave during these action films. Peer pressure may help him keep his outbursts under control.

Finally, I don't think that your man loves Arnie any more than he loves you. He just loves Arnie in a different way. So long as he is thinking of you and not Arnie while you are getting intimate then you have nothing to worry about.

If you need advice on absolutely anything then email me -

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