Friday, September 7, 2012

Dwarf planet Pluto redesignated again

The once proud planet, Pluto, suffered humiliation when it's planet status was revoked in August 2006 and replaced with the somewhat lesser 'Dwarf' planet designation. Now Pluto is suffering another identity crisis, this time at the hands of political correctness.
An image of Pluto, the once proud planet
Pluto, the ex-planet and now ex-dwarf planet
As of August 2012, just 6 years after being renamed as a dwarf planet, Pluto is known in the astronomical community as a PLANETTE, a smaller version of a planet. The change in description came about as a result of the many complaints from Political Correctness advocates, supposedly on behalf of persons of restricted vertical dimension, regarding the usage of the word dwarf.

It's Okay Pluto, I'm Not a Planet Either
Show your support for Pluto

Technically 'dwarf' is not a derogatory term, since dwarfism is a medical condition commonly caused by a pituitary gland anomaly. There is no evidence of any people, little or otherwise, taking offense at the phrase "Dwarf Planet". We suspect that the Political Correctness brigade just ran out of things to bitch about and have started creating random causes to avoid boredom.
A scale diagram indication the diameter of Pluto on a map of the US
Target announce the location of their new hyper-store
Pluto has a diameter of 1443 miles which makes it small enough to fit comfortably within the borders of the United States. The map above shows a scale 'shadow' of Pluto over the US, with the center of the planette hovering ominously above Lincoln, Nebraska. This does make Pluto a comparatively small hunk of rock and ice, but is it small enough to reconsider it's original planet status?
Let us know your thoughts below.

5 comments :

Martin Timothy said...

The photo accompanying this article is of Jupiter's moon Ganymede, not Pluto .. http://s47.radikal.ru/i116/1212/1a/cdcc346ea350.jpg

Brad Naylor said...

While I agree there is a certain similarity between our Pluto image and your Ganymede picture, I fail to see how this could be the same planet.

Both images are of big round space rocks each with speckles and lines on them, however, the pictures do not appear to be identical.

I have it on great authority that the image is indeed of Pluto and not Ganymede.

Ganymede has a diameter 3 times that of Pluto and has a brownish tint, whereas Pluto is a more greyish color as shown.

Thanks for reading and adding to the excitement by commenting. We feel validated when a reader takes the time to leave their thoughts.

Jesse Hines said...

If I fall under the zone, the Target hyper-store, do I get discounts on all "Planette Pluto" souvenirs and merchandise? I've been looking at this awesome fanny-pack but my wallet just refuses to borrow me a few buck.

I am also proud to announce that I will be selling limited edition "Dwarf Pluto" sippee cups via a drive-thru installed out of my bathroom window. Get them while they last, or before the brigade gets here.

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Check out my blog for more satire.

Anonymous said...

I still call Pluto a planet, but I'm darn sure I won't succumb to political correction.

Anonymous said...

In my book, Pluto is a planet, end of story.

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