Thursday, May 26, 2011

Taylor Swift has no boobs

It's a slow news day so we are dredging the depths and right at the bottom is Dolly Parton's revelation that Taylor Swift has no boobs.

Taylor Swift - Breastless (according to Dolly)
Taylor Swift - Breastless (according to Dolly)

Dolly's feelings about the young singer were revealed in an interview published on some silly Australian website, so we don't know how accurate the information is, but it sounded like a good story.

It's no secret that Slap the Penguin is as much a fan of country music as it is a fan of Canadian singers, so we decided to highlight a pair of country music's best known celebrities, and also Taylor Swift. (OK sorry, no more large breast comments)

Dolly Parton has been singing since she was 3 years old and that was a long time ago, she turned 65 back in January of this year, and has been going pretty much non stop since then.

She first hit the charts in 1967 and quickly became known as the woman who put the count into country music. She spread her wings into pop music in the mid 70's and then in 1980 starred in the movie 9 to 5, which ironically were the odds being offered by Las Vegas for the movie being a flop.

After another movie venture which I can't even remember the name of, Dolly faded away toured until she was resurected invited by the producers of Disney's Hannah Montana to appear as Miley's "Aunt Dolly", and is in reality Miley Cyrus' Godmother.

Dollywood
No clichéd breasts in place of the 'oo' in wood

Oh and she built Dollywood.

Taylor Swift is young and popular and cannot keep a man. Dolly Parton said of her, "She is a little flat and I am not just talking about her voice. She could never play me in a movie about my life." Taylor has not responded to the comments, but is no doubt writing a song about it.



5 comments :

Anonymous said...

i heart boobies.

zobop republic said...

As the immortal Al Bundy (Married...with children) would say, "I see boobies, oh wait that was just Taylor Swift's elbow."

Deray said...

I can't even think of Taylor attempting to play Dolly in a movie. Her back won't support the EE breasts :-P

Speaking of Canadian singers, there's a new Michael Buble single out there. No idea of the name, I just recognized its crapiness when I heard it on the radio this morning.

Anonymous said...

At least she has more boobs than she has talent

Kat said...

she's just a child still!!! She'll grow into her body I'm sure

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog

.