Bono finally finds what he is looking for

U2's The Joshua Tree was released in May 1987 to universal critical acclaim, but 1 song from the multi-million selling album has perplexed listeners for nearly 25 years. On track 2, Bono sings 'I still haven't found what I’m looking for' causing people to query exactly what Bono needs to find so desperately that he wrote a song about it.

The album that started it all

Bono was born Paul David Hewson and changed his name in order to sound more pretentious. Even though he is known worldwide for his charitable and philanthropic work as well as being the singer in U2, his self absorbed image causes many people to despise him and his efforts, and say things like “Bono is a dick”.

As well as multiple detractors he also has numerous fans and followers, a lot of whom seem to be lawyers who shamelessly advertise that they are Pro Bono. World leaders also line up to meet Sir Bono (an honorary title since he is not qualified to be knighted) to bask in his reflected glory, and maybe score a few votes from the young people. 

"So you think sunglasses would help my popularity?"

Morgan Freeman and Bono before their championship bout

"High 5, man. Gotta love the way you dissed that biatch Palin"

"Laura and I loved you in Mork and Mindy"
 or "How did you get the name Boner?"
or "I like to live on The Edge too."

Bono has traveled worldwide looking for it, and has politely asked many local people if they have seen it, but without any luck.

Bono: "WHERE IS IT?"
Boy: "Are you going to adopt me, Brangelina?"

He even attended and graduated the Explorer School founded by Dora in an effort to learn the basic skills required to find things.

Bono the explorer, still looking

Even while on vacation with his long suffering wife, Bono never stopped looking.

"Hey I found it, nope that's not it."

Slap The Penguin is proud to announce that thanks to his perseverance and our assistance, Bono has finally found what he was looking for. After almost a quarter of a century of searching, he has been reunited with a treasured possession which he feared had been lost forever. A signed copy of Culture Club's Do You Really Want To Hurt Me, which Boy George presented to Bono during the Band Aid recording session in 1984.

Finally, the search is over

It was found stuffed in the back of a mixing desk at Windmill Lane Studios, where U2 recorded 'The Unforgettable Fire' in 1984. According to U2's drummer, Larry Mullen Jr, “Bono played that record non-stop throughout the recording session and annoyed the crap out of everyone, so I hid it. I didn't realize that he was so attached to it and I was afraid that if I owned up he would kick me out of the band and buy a drum machine. All the best bands were getting drum machines in the mid 80's and I was getting nervous.”

So there it is; Slap The Penguin has firmly slammed the door on another mystery, but what did YOU think Bono was looking for? The comments section is open for your thoughts.

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