Saturday, May 14, 2011

Schwarzenegger to return to the big screen

Since the news of Arnold Schwarzenegger's split from ex-tennis star Pam Shriver has exploded onto the tabloids, the story of his return to the big screen has taken a back seat. The very public split is proof that you should never marry a tennis player since love means nothing to them.
Arnold and Pam contemplate their seperate futures
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Pam Shriver
We are proud to announce that octogenarian Arnold has signed on with James Cameron to star in the fourth installment of the popular and money making Terminator series. Arnold will again play the loveable cyborg but with a slight twist.
Arnold Schwarzeneggar - The Infirminator
Arnold's forthcoming movie
The evil future computer, Skynet, has designed and built a new, older looking cyborg to integrate into a retirement community rather than using the devil-may-care, guns blazing method which has failed in the previous movies for them. This special assignment will allow the 'Infirminator' to strategically remove historic obstacles  to Skynet's later success (most of them called Connor).

The Infirminator is set for general release in October 2012 after intense post production work which involves converting 2D acting into a 3D movie.


captNaj said...

please don't give those hollywood assholes any ideas hahaha...

Anonymous said...

Arnie's new release will be called 'The Sperminator'.

You'll know what that means soon enough!

Ian C said...

Thanks, Zobop. The news of Arnie's love child is all over the tabloid interwebs right now. We at My Twist News are not into low brow sensationalist stories (unless it is a slow news week).

Anonymous said...

Does the kid look like Danny DeVito? Because that would be weird.

Referencing 80's movies is fun. I don't know why.

Anonymous said...

I also am a fan of low-brow sensationalist stories :)

Most viewed pages (last 30 days)

Slap the Penguin, more than just a satirical news blog