Sunday, January 22, 2012

Week in Review with Alexa Rankin - 1/21/12

Hi again, it's me Alexa Rankin reporting the headlines that caught my eye this week. It's been a busy seven days for me, but I still had time to travel to internet city and poke around for some juicy tidbits for you all. Is it titbits or tidbits? Leave me a comment below and let me know which is correct.
Packers Lose and No Bowl for Tebow
I don't know much about football, but I do know that the Green Bay Packers were playing well, only losing one game all through the regular season. They were looking like they were getting set to become back to back World Champions. However, the Giants of New York had a different plan last Sunday and handed the Pack an ass-whooping.

There are many suggestions why Green Bay did not put on a performance akin to their previous 16 outings, but my favorite is the idea that GB QB Aaron Rodgers stayed up all night watching the Miss USA pageant after hearing that Miss Wisconsin wanted him to phone her. He flipped the channel and got hooked by the excitement as she progressed to the final stages and ended up winning. He still hasn't phoned her.

Jesus and Cheeseheads were both let down last weekend
Losers, Tim Tebow and Aaron Rodgers
Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos were not able to pull off a miraculous comeback against the New England Patriots during their 45-10 loss. Tebow was barely a factor in the game, completing only 9 out of 26 passes for 136 yards proving without doubt that he actually sucks and they got lucky to get to the post season.

A combination of high profile praying and four last-minute winning plays in four consecutive games put Tebow on the radar and the Broncos on Superbowl Road (briefly). Now it's time to forget about the new national pastime of Tebowing (or Teblowing) and move on to the next big thing.

Snap, Crackle and Drop Dead
A Southern California man was arrested this week on suspicion of poisoning his wife's cereal. Fernanda Porres, 53, complained of a strange taste and smell coming from her Rice Krispies and started feeling ill. She was taken to the hospital by her husband, Fernandez, 47, who then stepped outside for a cigarette and never returned.

The police arrested Fernandez 2 miles away, charged him with attempted murder and put him on $1 million dollar bail. LA county police are refusing to disclose what substance they found in the breakfast bowl, but have issued a statement saying that Fernanda Porres was not seriously harmed by the alleged attack.
Snap, Crackle and Pop-a-cap-in-yo-ass
Rice Krispies - Part of a healthy lifestyle?

Do you know how hard it was to avoid using the headline 'Cereal Killer'?

Burger King testing delivery service
Burger King announced this week that they will be trialing a fast food delivery service in the Washington DC area. Not everyone will be able to get BK on Wheels, you will need to be located within 10 minutes of a participating Burger King location. There will also be a $10 minimum order and a $2 delivery fee.

The BK Burger-Bug
Burger King Delivery - for lazy fat people
Seriously, how fat and lazy are we getting that we need someone to deliver a Whopper to our doorstep? You can't walk to your car and drive to BK? For most of the fat people who will use the service, the $10 minimum order won't bother them. A typical fat guy meal of 3 Whoppers, 2 chicken royale, 2 fries, 1 onion rings and a DIET coke comes to more than 10 bucks.

Thanks for stopping by to catch my weekly review. I would love to read your comments below, so let me know what you think. I am Alexa Rankin and this is the Week in Review.


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