Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Spice Girls Reunion

When Simon Fuller gathered 5 girls (4 girls and a woman who lied about her age) and launched them into the realms of super stardom he was just looking for a quick turnaround on his investment. He figured three number one singles and a number one album would be enough to buy him a new home and a Maserati to park in the garage. Then he could dissolve the group and move on with his next project. But the Spice Girls had other ideas.

The Spice Girls - A Schoolboy Fantasy
L-R Vapid Spice, Jailbait Spice, Token Spice, Old Spice (aka Slutty Spice), Flat Spice
In 1996 The Spice Girls took the British pop music charts by storm with their debut release "Wannabe", they monopolized the tabloid headlines and brought the phrase "Girl Power" to a nation of millions. Their imaginatively titled first album, Spice, went to number one in 31 countries, demonstrating how many perverted old men there are on this planet.

Just like their music, the name 'The Spice Girls' is not entirely original. Music legend Malcolm McLaren first toyed with the name 'The Spice Pistols' in the mid 70's for his new punk band but gave it up when he got stuck naming the other 2 members of the band. "Vicious Spice and Rotten Spice came easy, but Fatty Spice and Drummer Spice just wasn't working so we put that one on a back burner".

The Sex Pistols were almost called The Spice Pistols
L-R Smoking Spice, Vicious Spice, Rotten Spice and Al Bundy Spice
Most of the 'Spice' names didn't work for Malcolm McLaren.
The Spice Girls dominated the entire universe for longer than their talent allowed and then faded into obscurity in about 1998. Although for Vapid Spice, obscurity was not an option so she latched on to Manchester United soccer star David Beckham, and dragged him away to America so he could wind down his career playing for the LA Galaxy.

So, to cut a long story short, [too late] 80% of The Spice Girls are out of cash and want to reform before they reach their 40's and it looks like 2011 will be the year. It has been hinted that they will be launching the 'Girl Power Reunion Tour' in August which will start in Japan and then work it's way west. With any luck they will quit from exhaustion or boredom before they reach the States. You have been warned.

1 comment :

Helena Fortissima said...

I think your Spice Girl monikers are much more appropriate!

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