Monday, May 9, 2011

Elvis Lives, claims haunted man

Peter K. Edwards is a normal looking 51 year old male from Altoona, PA. Except that he is a conduit for musical spirits. Peter is haunted by the ghosts of dead singers.
Singing in the bathroom is nothing new
The bathroom has great acoustics
The first time he realized his predicament was in 1976 when the ghost of Jim Morrison started singing 'Light my Fire' in his living room. “I thought I had left the radio on” said Peter, “but the song followed me around the house.”

"Jim actually appeared to me while I was sitting on the toilet. His torso and upper body were hovering 3 feet above the ground while he sang 'People are Strange'. I guess the bathroom has the best acoustics"

Since then, Peter has been audience to myriad posthumous performances from the likes of Karen Carpenter, Bob Marley, Ian Curtis and Kurt Cobain.

"After 35 years, I am getting used to spirits popping in and singing a greatest hits medley. My favorite performance so far was John Lennon and George Harrison with guest vocals from Michael Jackson. They did a rocking version of 'Twist and Shout' which flowed [super]naturally into 'Billie Jean' "

We asked Mr Edwards if he has any recordings of these musical moments to share with the world. He says that he has tried to record the ghostly greats but when listening back to the tapes it sounds like thudding and some mechanical noises. “It is a shame because I could make millions from a CD of dead singers – call it 'Gravest Hits' or something like that.”

“The one performance I would love to see is obviously The King, Elvis, but he has yet to appear to me. I have a theory that he may have not yet crossed over, and could be alive and well, in hiding somewhere.”


JaneneMurphy said...

'Gravest Hits?' Ha ha! Too funny. And leave it to musical ghosts to find the spot in the house with the best acoustics.

Static said...

lols..poor bastard is probably schizophrenic and you guys are making him the butt of your jokes.

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