Dear Tina - Vacation Constipation

Dear Tina, I can never go to the bathroom when on vacation, and it becomes a big problem because I get constipated. Next month I am going on vacation and I need help solving my problem. It is 9 days long and I just cant hold it in that long, but yet it wont come out. This sounds like a joke but I'm serious.

Please help me,

Sincerely, Jordan

Dear Jordan, thanks for sharing. Vacation constipation can be uncomfortable and in extreme cases quite dangerous. It would be useful to know whether this is a psychological issue for you, or purely a dietary one.

Constipation is a pain in the ass

I would certainly consider training your bowels over the coming weeks by reading vacation guides for your destination while defecating. This will help overcome any mental/rectal disorder.

As far as dietary methods, you should drink bottled water and eat fiber laden foods to maintain a regular schedule.

You can also purchase over the counter laxatives which will help keep you loose during your 9 days. However read the instructions carefully to avoid any incidents while out and about in your best white vacation pants.

A condition known scientifically as 'Poopy Pants'

If you need advice on absolutely anything then email me -Tina.cruris(at)slapthepenguin.com

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