Arrrr, Talk Like A Pirate Day

by +Alexa Rankin

Or in scurvy tongue, "Today be parlay like a salty dog day, Arrrrrr". I recently discovered that September 19th is Talk Like A Pirate Day, where we all have to do our very best Captain Jack Sparrow impersonations.

Just add rum.

There are a couple of key things to remember when talking like a pirate. Firstly you need to have the rummy swagger to make yourself look like an authentic pirate. Then you need to substitute the word 'are' for the word 'be'. This is to avoid confusion with the word 'Arrr', a common pirate utterance. For example "There be scallywags in the crew, Arrr".

The other requirement for sounding like a real pirate is to use their lingo (language). There is an exhaustive list of pirate terms at the official Talk Like A Pirate Day website, but for those of you who just want a brief introduction here are some of my favorites (with modified definitions).

Bootyful

Avast Behind - A large backside. 

That Nikki Minaj has Avast Behind, Arrr

Booty - Either treasure or backside. In some cases both...

Arrr, I be on the lookout for some booty.

Buccaneer - How much it costs for a pirate to get pierced.

Arrr, them piercings will cost ye a buck an ear.

Davy Jones' Locker - A locker which remained sadly empty during the last Monkees world tour.

That be in bad taste even for a pirate, Arrrr

Hornpipe - What a pirate carries in his pocket 

Wench: Is that a hornpipe in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

Seadog: Arrr, would ye like to play a tune on it?

Jolly Roger - To have sex

How'd ye fancy a Jolly Roger?

Poop Deck - Where the Captain leaves his log

Arrr, the poop deck needs swabbin' again

Shiver me Timbers - Genital arousal, usually, but not exclusively male

That wench Shivered me Timbers, Arrrrrrrrrrr

Walk the Plank - To have sex

How'd ye like to Walk the Plank?

Yardarm - Penis (grossly exaggerated in length and girth, being neither a yard long or as thick as an arm)

Arrrr. That wench almost spilled me grog when she got a rub of me yardarm.

It's just a jump to the left...

It should be noted that today is TALK like a pirate day and not DRESS like a pirate day. This means that wearing an eye patch and fake hook is totally optional, but saying "ARRRR" and "SAVVY" a lot is not.