Saturday, January 15, 2011

Valentine's Day

Ok, I get it. I am the girl. Therefore I am the romantic. Hence I get to write the valentine's day story.

A print out and keep reminder

Saint Valentine was a guy, Cupid was a guy, Eros was a pervert guy. In fact the word erection was derived from his name. It is starting to sound to me that this should have been written by a guy. In an ideal world, it would have been, but he forgot all about it until it was too late and then promised not to forget again and ran out to the gas station and bought a pitiful bunch of daisies because it was all they had left.

Saint Valentine's Day was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD and was celebrated every February 14th until it was removed from the Calendar of Saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI. It was quickly re-introduced by Pope Hallmark as a money making gimmick.

Valentine's Day, as it has become known in modern times has become synonymous with red envelopes containing cheesy cards and poor poetry such as:-

I want to read your best/worst Roses are Red poems in the comments section.

The other expense of V-Day is the gift giving. The aforementioned flowers, chocolates, and stuffed animals holding hearts. Men are required to produce at least one from column A in order to get any sex for the remainder of February.
All My Love Chocolate Gift Basket With Teddy Bear - Romantic Gift Basket
This covers column A and column B
Does this seem a little one sided so far? Sure it does. We women are the romantic ones, remember? SO you need to pamper us and look after us and just maybe you might get some action without having to beg.

You now have 4 weeks to get your Valentine's Day in order, guys. More than enough time to avoid the wrath of a women just waiting for you to forget another of those 'special' days.


William (and Kate) Windsor said...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
One is a fan
of My Twist News

Do I win a prize? I am getting married this year and would love a T-shirt or something

denbk28 said...

happy valentine's...:D

Anonymous said...

true story:

roses are red
black mold is black
once she tried lesbian
she never came back

stupid san francisco...

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