Sunday, October 17, 2010

Shameless Beaver Picture

For our teenage readers, here are the words to
Justin Beaver
You know you love me, eh?
Justin Beaver - Baby

you know you love me,
i know you care,
you shout whenever,
and i'll be there,
you want my love,
you want my heart,
and we will never ever ever be apart,

are we an item?
girl quit playing,
we're just friends,
what are you sayin'
is that there's another,
then look right in my eyes,
my first love, broke my heart for the first time
OK THAT'S ALL I CAN STAND.
I do not want to hear about your pre-pubescant heart break

Justin Beaver (for those who don't know) is a 14 year old Canadian singer who shot to fame because of a youtube video. I hope he is not frittering away his earnings because nobody will want him when his voice breaks.
He hangs out with the rapper, Usher, who is credited for launching him to the realms of super-stardom. Thanks Usher.

Other Beaver News
Rumors abound that Beaver will be taking over from Ashton Kutcher on the MTV show 'Punked'.

Beaver's mom is dead - Barbera Billingsley, the actress who played June Cleaver in 'Leave it to Beaver' died today at the age of 94.

If his mom is June Cleaver, that makes him Beaver Cleaver. What kind of name is Beaver Cleaver? That is the kind of name a guy gives his penis to make it sound big and tough, like The Zipper Ripper or Vlad, The Impaler. (Trust me guys, it doesn't help)

If you have a Shameless Beaver Picture you would like to share then email it to tina.cruris(at)slapthepenguin.com so we can post it on the interwebs for you.




2 comments :

Ladygoodwood said...

Never heard of Justin Beaver, gratitude due I believe!

Beaver Cleaver - makes me think of someone with a large axe cleaving in the heads of little defensless beavers to make mittens! Not the most child-friendly image...

Tricia said...

If I HAD a boyfriend and he HAD to name his penis, I'd vote Zipper Ripper over Beaver Cleaver. Just sayin'...

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