Thursday, November 13, 2014

Minecrafted News - Kim KardASShian

By +Alexa Rankin

Minecrafted news is the new version of the old 8-bit news that we used to publish. We want people to focus on the story instead of the glossy images of the mass market mass media so we modify them so that they offer little distraction from the all important content.

Our first minecrafted news post is somewhat delayed due to a temporarily broken internet, but it looks like it's been fixed now so sit back, relax and enjoy.

Kim KardASShian breaks the internet
oooh greasy shiny
The internet, reality and genuine news reporting came to a standstill following the release of a preview image from the current edition of PAPER, a magazine that 95% of the universe had never heard of previously.

Thanks to Kim's efforts, there are people out there who still don't know that the ESA landed a probe on a comet, or that Bono's plane made a safe landing after a cargo door fell off in flight.

The entire universe seems to be going crazy about the fact that Kim's boooooty (it's too big for only 2 o's) was splashed across social media, but what if they had researched the story a little deeper?

Delving further reveals that Kim reveals more in the photoshoot. Not only would the internet still be broken, but it's inventor, Al Gore would have suffered a coronary if THIS image had been splashed all over Twitter.

Full Frontal Kim Kardashian
Put it away, slut
Congratulations Kim, you succeeded in breaking the internet, not because people were rushing to see your goodies, but because people were racing to social media to mock you, your super-sized backside, and your stupidity for flaunting it to anyone with wi-fi.

What do you nice people think? Good move? Bad move? Real ass or implants? Will her 1 year old daughter be proud in the coming years? Share your opinion in the comments section below.

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