Saturday, November 22, 2014

The New Scottish Cabinet

By +Sue Casa

Here it is, my first official post for Slap the Penguin. My name is Sue Casa and I will be leading the charge on the British side of the Atlantic. Most of the posts found on STP are geared to an American audience so my job is to bring more international balance to the team.

US UK Handshake
People with no fashion sense making friends

I understand that the language barrier between the US and the UK continues through into humour and spelling, so in an attempt to avoid confusion, I will signify that this is a British post by placing a flag symbol like the one that you see towards the top of the page. For those of you who haven't seen an Olympic medal ceremony, that's the British flag. For those who have seen an Olympic medal ceremony, that's still the British flag.

This alert will let you know that the reason you are not laughing is that you don't understand the humour and not because it's not funny, which is usually the case on this site.

I know you are bursting at the seams to know the latest gossip from the USB (United States of Britain) so grab yourself a cup of tea and let's get cracking shall we.

After failing to set themselves free from the mainland, the Scots have resigned themselves to being part of the UK until the spirit of William Wallace rises again. In the meantime, Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland's first female First Minister, has announced a new cabinet with a 50/50 gender mix. 5 boys and 5 girls make up the team which will lead Scotland into a new era of equality.

Equality in the Scottish Cabinet
5 guys and 5 gals? Not so sure about the one in the middle of the back row
"For as long as Scotland has existed," Sturgeon announced in her first First Ministerial speech, "our menfolk have proudly worn skirts. It is time for us to usher in a new era of equality. As the first female First Minister, I will show Scotland and the world that it is time to accept that women can wear the pants."

Nicola Sturgeon assumed the role as First Minister on Wednesday, taking over from the outgoing First Minister, Alex Salmond. She was sworn in by Queen Elizabeth II who delivered an eloquent speech, fitting for the ceremony:
"I trust you will perform your duties well, before God and your Queen. The people of Scotland have spoken through the democratic gift of voting and as such, I still own all of you. I'm watching you, I know something fishy is going on in the Scottish Cabinet. You are not breaking up my country while I am on the throne. If Charlie ever gets to wear the crown then you can do whatever the hell you like, but you're not ripping apart my empire. I am The Queen and I just reigned on your parade!"
Her Majesty then dropped the mic and walked off stage to a shocked silence. Whether you are pro-monarchy or anti-monarchy or somewhere in between, you have to admire her talent for delivering a knockout punch exactly when it's needed.

What do you think about the Queen's behaviour? Was she justified to verbally put down the treasonous Scots? Could she have handled it in a more refined manner? Do you think the 'fishy' comment was deliberate or coincidental?

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

Ha ha... fishy. Alex Salmon and Nicola Sturgeon. LOL.

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