google.com, pub-9840409407193699, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slap The Penguin: Radioshack to close nearly 1800 stores

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Radioshack to close nearly 1800 stores


Since 1921, Radioshack has been a Mecca for geeks. Or at least it was until the internet was invented and the geeks abandoned their real social life in favor of the safer, virtual social life. The international high street chain which started out as THE place to get electronic components for Ham Radios, and later, state of the art High Fidelity music equipment has announced that it will close 1784 of it's US stores by March of this year.

Personal HiFi for the 21st Century
Personal HiFi for the 21st Century

The closures are part of a bankruptcy protection plan as Radioshack filed for Chapter 11 on February 5th 2015 after struggling to trade profitably for the majority of the 21st century. Experts claim that Radioshack's unwillingness to enter the 21st century was the primary cause for failing sales and record losses. Stocks in the company went from an all time high of $24.33 to $2.52 and were soon labelled as "Junk Stock". Ironically, that is what many people had already labelled Radioshack's inventory.

By the time the executives realized that Radioshack was no longer relevant in the market it was too late. Even hiring indie rock band 'Weezer' to help them relaunch their brand in 2014 with the song 'Back to the Shack' didn't rescue the ailing company. "...Rocking out like it's 94" might not have been the best line in the song to modernize your image, Radioshack.


The single most destructive factor in the 20th century world of Radioshack has been the increase e-commerce, in particular amazon.com. Not only can people get the latest electronics without having to leave their living room, they can also get those kitsch retro goods like Walkie-Talkies and Simon without having to locate and drive to a Radioshack and deal with the bearded, middle-aged man who runs the store. What he lacks in social skills, he makes up for in memorizing the part numbers and operating voltages of every tube transistor ever made.

It is a sad day for geek-kind and I want to share my feelings with the world at large. I have (re)written a song, to celebrate the life and anticipated demise. Considering my singing skills are somewhat limited I have linked the music from "The Buggles" and all you have to do is sing along using the lyrics below.


All of your stores look like they're stuck in '82
Lying awake I could not wait to visit you
I got your catalog, I can't stop reading through
Oh-a oh
They don't take credit cards, it's cash or check, you see
These people are afraid of new technology
They still sold Betamax in 1993
Oh-a oh
I want a blu-ray
Oh-a oh
They told me "No way!"
Amazon killed the Radioshack
Amazon killed the Radioshack
The future came and broke your heart
Oh-a-a-a oh
Now people buy their tech from online stores you know
Reading your catalog now seems so long ago
And I remember the place I used to go
Oh-a oh
I bought a console
Oh-a oh
It was a sega
Amazon killed the Radioshack
Amazon killed the Radioshack
In my mind I want to buy
A radio from '95
Oh-a-aho oh
Oh-a-aho oh
Amazon killed the Radioshack
Amazon killed the Radioshack
In my mind I want to buy
A radio from '95
My music sounds so staticy
I haven't heard of MP3
I love the Radioshack
I love the Radioshack
Amazon killed the Radioshack
Amazon killed the Radioshack
Amazon killed the Radioshack
Amazon killed the Radioshack
Have you ever shopped at Radioshack? What did you buy? Do you still have an AOL email address?
Share below, or mail a letter to STP Virtual Office, Pigs Eye Lake, St Paul, Minnesota 55119

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