Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Pelé quits over Brazilian defeat

By +Ian C

Edson Arantes do Nascimento, better known as Brazilian soccer legend Pelé has announced that he will quit as Brazil's official 'Ambassador de Futbol' at the end of the current World Cup, citing his country's humiliating performance against Germany as the primary reason.

Pelé walks the pitch in disbelief after the game
Pelé asking the crowd a question
In an emotional press conference Pelé was struggling hold back tears as he shared his thoughts about how Brazil could not just lose on their home turf, but lose so badly to an old rival. "There are no excuses," he told the crowd, "Neymar is an influential captain, but no team is built around a single player, except maybe Argentina and Messi or Portugal and Ronaldo. Even though Neymar was injured, it should have been business as usual, but the German team tore us apart."

Pelé gives a press conference after the humiliating defeat
"A sad day for Brazilian football"
"Yesterday was a sad day for Brazilian football and I am too old to deal with this kind of defeat so I hereby announce my retirement from the role of Ambassador de Futbol for my beloved Brazil. While time may heal the wounds, my heart is broken and I don't think it can be fixed." Pelé continued, "I have agreed to represent another brand as Ambassador de Futlong. I am pleased to announce that I will be joining Subway as a spokesperson or 'speech artist' as they like to call it."

Pele and Subway
You wanted Pelé at Subwé, you got it
In addition to announcing his latest career move, Pelé has also recruited some well known faces to play in a charity/revenge soccer match against the Germans, to show his Brazilian counterparts how to really play soccer.

Pelé's Dream Team vs Germany
Pelé, Stallone and Michael Caine vs Germany
Who will win the World Cup? What type of sandwich is Pelé smelling? Insert Brazilian joke here! Share your thoughts below.

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