Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Royal baby on the horizon

Latest reports indicate that 'We are pregnant'. We being William and Kate, and I would bet that it is more Kate than it is William, although he may have had a small part in the conception. Conception, which according to an announcement from 'The Palace', happened approximately 12 weeks ago, and according to our calculations puts it right in the exact area of time that Kate was flashing her goodies to the paparazzi.

William Kate plus 1
William and Kate plus 1. Or is it +2?
Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, has been admitted to King Edward VII hospital with severe morning sickness, the kind of which is usually associated with carrying multiple fetuses/feti. The suggestion of twins yields an interesting quandary for the monarchy, considering that currently the heir hierarchy (heirarchy?) is decided firstly by sex then by age.

Consider the situation of a multi-sex twin birth with the girl born first. She would be next in line to the throne for as many minutes as it takes for the boy to be born. On the other hand, have you seen 'The Man in the Iron Mask'? The one twin was locked in a tower with a mask welded to his head on the orders of the other twin who was the King of France and a total dumb-ass (or is that Dumas?).

The Man in the Iron Mask
Born just minutes later can make a world of difference
Even more unlikely (1 in 50,000 according to latest estimates) is the possibility of conjoined twins, formerly known as Siamese twins and then briefly known as Kingdom of Thailand twins, before settling on the current terminology.

Conjoined twins occur when an egg splits in utero to form twins, but then the two eggs rejoin at a common point and the babies are born joined together. In such a circumstance, it would be impossible to determine order of birth and therefore a joint monarchy would need to be established. Also a second crown will need to be found.

The Brits are already betting on the sex, quantity and date of birth of the Prince's progeny, but the most important talking point in the UK right now is what will the child(ren) be named? Certain sources have suggested Louis, Harry, Niall, Liam or Zayn for boy names, and Emma, Victoria, Melanie, Geri and Kylie for girl names. I suppose any of those names would be preferable to the trend of calling your kids 'Hashtag', unless they are trying to get sponsorship from a Canadian whisky company.

Hashtag Windsor aka #Windsor
The latest in a new trend of Hashtag names
It seems that the only person who is not jumping for joy over this news is William's younger brother, Harry, who will be bounced down one more rung on the 'heirarchy' ladder, essentially eliminating him from any chance of sitting on the throne.

Feel free to leave a congratulatory message in our comments section, or just praise us for how clever and funny we are.





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2 comments :

zobop republic said...

I suppose now Kate realizes that her uterus is Royal Palace property.
-- exit2013 @BlogCatalog

Anastasia F-B said...

Hey, Louis was no dumb ass!

Well done, William and Kate. Lots and lots of love. :-)

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