One of the reasons STP took a break from writing satirical news is that we were struggling to compete withe the ridiculousness of the actual news that was happening out there in the really real world, and this story from pscbobcats.com the Peru State athletics website is living proof.
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| Not the place to finish in a cross country race… |
When I think of cross country (which is never) I think of grueling, painful hour when I was forced to expel every last molecule of breath and every final ounce of energy in one of high school’s most sadistic rituals, distance running.
I could fake participation in other sports, but it was tough to escape the 5k slog around the track. Too smart to be a jock and not smart enough to be a brain, I was caught in the middle and suffered horribly from the compulsory torture.
However, some people thrive in this area and are encouraged to run for their school, and there are track meets where you can race against similarly maladjusted college folk for fun and school pride. Go Bobcats!
For those of you who are still struggling with the irony of the new coach’s name, try saying it out loud, while thinking about where you finished in the cross country races back in your high school days. Miles back?
I think if they made the distances shorter, and let you run on a regular track rather than through mud and sh-tuff, and changed the name from cross country to mildly irritated country then fewer people would be mentally scarred by the event.
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