Saturday, March 30, 2013

North Korea Crisis Heightens

+Brad Naylor

North Korea have had a bug up their butt since 2010 when they lost horribly in the Soccer World Cup. They threatened nuclear attack on the US/South Korea war games after exiting after some embarrassing double digit defeats. They have recently been flexing their military muscle by parading their nuclear missile launchers and tanks around the streets Pyongyang like some kind of Thanksgiving Day Procession.

A North Korean missile launcher
North Korean muscle flexing and Thanksgiving Parade entry
The rest of the world were hopeful that when Kim Jong-Un replaced his late father, Kim Jong-Il in 2011, the North Korean's would be less aggressive. That seemed to be the case until 6' 7" basketball Hall of Famer, Dennis Rodman visited with Kim Jong-Un and said, "Man, all you little yellow mother f---ers are short. You wouldn't last 2 minutes in the NBA"

In a retaliatory show of strength, the American military have been formation flying their B-2 stealth bombers and discussing technical data of the new A.S.S.R.A.M. weapon (Asian Seeking Supersonic Really Awesome Missile).

The ASSRAM missile technical manual
A leaked tech sheet of the U.S. developed ASSRAM missile
A Department of Defense spokesman said, "We are urging the North Korean's to step down their military displays and cease their threats against the U.S., South Korea and the rest of the world. We have military superiority and our newly developed ASSRAM missiles have been shipped to the area and will be in the offensive payload of all of our aircraft within 72 hours. We can, and will ASSRAM you if you make any attempt to engage our troops."

Tension in the area is running high, with both sides refusing to back down from this stalemate, and the North Koreans declaring a 'State of War' with South Korea. The South Koreans have not yet responded to the threat of war from the North since they are still reeling from the impact that SoKo singer Psy and his 'Gangnam Style' is having on the universe.

Personally, I think that Kim Jong-Un is just sabre rattling and the whole situation will diffuse without incident within a few weeks. We want to hear your thoughts and opinions on the situation in the comments section below.


Brady Weinstock said...

Rodman was visiting the new Pope too, does this mean that we will be at war with the Vatican soon?

Janene said...

Martha Stewart -- Love it!

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