google.com, pub-9840409407193699, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slap The Penguin: New penguin species not new after all

Saturday, October 3, 2026

New penguin species not new after all

Earlier this week a group of scientists specializing in the study of penguins were all excited, congratulating themselves on their recently discovered new species of penguin. They published a report claiming that the discovery was a previously unrecognized variant of the gentoo penguin and it is called Pygoscelis Kerguelensis, since it resides exclusively in the isolation of the Kerguelen Islands, also known as the Desolation Islands, in the southern Indian Ocean.

A group of Gentoo Droogs off for a bit of the old ultraviolence

Their research showed that the DNA of the new species significantly differed and that the average size of the birds varied from the recognized normal for typical gentoos. Their vocabulary and sounds were also different, as well as their diet.

The research was studied by an independent group of scientists and found to be "a bunch of lazily researched bullshit". The variances in the newly discovered group is no different than the variances you get when comparing Americans with French people. Diet, vocabulary, and average weight are all different when you compare typical specimens from each country, but they are all from the same species, namely Homo Sapiens.

The geographical variances are enough for the 'new' species to look similar yet develop traits specific to their environment. The diet is different because the food source was different, vocabulary and sounds are different in the same way language and dialects vary across distances. Nothing in the paper has any true substance to suggest this is a new species; it's basically just the penguin equivalent of the out of state cousins who you only see every few years when someone gets married or buried.

The original scientific group has yet to withdraw their claim suggesting that the DNA evidence by itself is overwhelming and the new Gentoo should be recognized as a new species. The subject is still open for further peer review and it is unclear yet as to whether the new species will be accepted or not.

What do you think? Is this a new species, or is this the same species with a different accent? Are they gentoo or gen 2.0? Share your thoughts below.

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