Friday, May 31, 2013

Christian Mingle or Christian Money Pit?

by +Brad Naylor

By now you have probably heard of, a popular internet dating sight designed just for Christians. If you haven't then I just explained what it was in the previous sentence. Their TV advertising campaign emphasizes that they can help you "find God's match for you".

Christian Mingle Advertisement
More like FUND God's Match is a niche or special interest online personal site according to it's owner, Spark Networks, who also happen to own (Jewish), and (Latter Day Saints/Mormons) as well as the everyday dating site, They do not however own Muslim Match.

The idea behind ALL dating sites is to prey on people's insecurities and turn the fear of growing old alone into cold hard cash. Now I am not a religious type, but I have read that God is an alright kind of guy. If he wants you to find his match for you then it will happen without you paying up to $30 a month to some company with a database full of equally desperate people. On the bright side, when the computer does find you a date, you will have something in common - you both gave a crap-load of money to some company to find a soul mate.

Christian Mingle Tariff
How much does it cost to get laid find a soul mate?
I signed up for a Christian Mingle account last year, purely for research purposes, and I was amazed at how honest their site is. They are very upfront about telling you that if you want to do more than just look at pictures, you need to upgrade to a premium account. Freeloaders have their experience practically crippled to mere voyeurism. 

They also bait you into spending more money by offering various extras like COMPASS matching and Comprehensive Personal Analysis, claiming that you will find more accurate matches if you do these things. I filled out a basic analysis for free and was instantly sent an email telling me I could save more than $70 on Dr. Hartman's Comprehensive Personal Analysis, a personality profile across 100+ dimensions, which usually costs $100. Honestly, I am not sure if I have more than 3 dimensions, so I saved my money on that one.

Christian Mingle Premium Benefits
Give us money and we will let you do more than just look
If you still like the idea of spending money to find God's Match then go for it. As far as dating sites go, it is well laid out and easy to navigate, and it really doesn't cost any more than other established dating sites. Given the supposed Christian background of most subscribers, I trust that the majority of user submitted photos are genuine rather than internet sourced supermodel images, which most of us would need to join this shallow minded dating site, However, I do offer one word of caution. Watch your spelling when you type in the website address. I missed an 'L' and ended up on this site:
I missed out the L, now I'm having an L of a time
By the way,, I apologize for setting up a dummy account on your site and if you find it I do expect it to get removed instantly. Also to all those great Christian babes who viewed me on, I am single but not a christian, so sorry for misleading you. And besides, I didn't spring for the subscription so we couldn't have chatted anyway. If you still want to hook up then leave me a comment below.


Janene said...

Wait. Do they PREY on people's insecurities or PRAY on them. Sorry. I'm just a little confused. ;) I'm also glad I'm no longer in the dating game. That whole world is so confusing!

Anonymous said...

Ha, I read LSD Dating at first ...not so much interested in the Latter Day Something...

Dating is overrated, overpriced and oversold!

Ian C - Slap The Penguin said...

Yeah, I read LSD dating at first. Can you imagine tripping through the photos of singles.
"Woah, that chick has 4 arms and 1 eye. She is totally awesome. I am so whacked I should subscribe and send her a message."

Helena Fortissima said...

I met my husband on; both of us were about to let our subscription run out because we'd had such disappointing experiences. So, for me, online dating ended up being worth it. It really is a strange world, though, lots of freaks and weirdos out there.

Brad Naylor - Slap the Penguin said...

Thanks for sharing, Helena. Many people do use internet dating sites and with some success. It is nice to hear that people actually do find someone to love, especially considering the irony that you were both about to let your subscriptions lapse. Fate definitely had a hand in your marriage.

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