Friday, December 10, 2010

Dear Tina - Bored In The Bedroom

Dear Tina,
my girlfriend is rich and wants to get married. The trouble is, she wants sex all the time and I am already bored with her. Sure, there's stuff we haven't tried yet (pegging, scat, etc) but my real problem is that my greatest turn-on sexually is being with someone I’ve never had sex with before. I always get bored in LTRs after a couple months, and I’m already going through the motions and faking orgasms and enjoying porn behind her back. also, her vaginal secretions smell like burning tires and she wipes her ass incompletely. what should i do?

sincerely, bored in the bedroom

Dear BITB, thanks for your letter. It sounds to me that you are not yet ready to settle down with anybody, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some guys just have a lot of wild seeds to sow. Just make sure you are protecting your equipment adequately if your are plowing new fields.

When you need to seed, you can't beat Johnsons
Also available in extra large package (so they claim)
If you are interested in making your current relationship work into the long term, then it seems you will need to spice things up a little in and maybe out of the bedroom.

You say that you enjoy being with new people, so a little role play could help you. Act out a 'bar pickup' where you 'pickup' your girlfriend after meeting her in a bar. You can have her dress up like a slut if that gets you hot.

Bring out the Gimp
"Bring out the Gimp"
Also you could try different roles in the bedroom, or different positions. It sounds like you are well educated in a variety of alternate entrance techniques. If she normally instigates then maybe you should take the initiative and shake things up a little. Anything that removes the monotony of monogamy will be a welcome change for you.

Maybe you could enjoy porn surfing together. Search for things that turn you both on. You may even find something that fires a new spark.

Summers Eve Bth & Sg Grn Tea
Nothing says I love you like a pear and lily flavored snatch
As far as her feminine hygiene goes, then you may need to leave a subtle hint in the shower for her. A bottle of Summer's Eve will certainly put her on the right road to keeping herself clean. If she truly loves you enough to get married then she shouldn't mind taking a little extra time and effort to make her atrium presentable.

If you need advice on absolutely anything then email me -Tina.cruris(at)

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