Wednesday, December 8, 2010

New CD releases for December 14th

Another week without country music? We knew that Country music was in a hiatus since Brooks and Dunn got divorced and everything coming out of Nashville recently has been Greatest Hits albums.

MICHAELMichael Jackson – Michael
We all know the MJ story. He was the Prince of Pop but Elvis will always be the King [PROOF].
There are rumors flying around that this recording is not all Michael's work, and since he has been dead for almost 18 months that could well be true.
The cover art looks like the work of a Michael-o-maniac. His body may be dead, but his ego lives on.

Farmer's DaughterCrystal Bowersox – Farmer's Daughter
Bowersox or Bow-Wow Sox? No wonder she didn't win American Idol. Not that Lee DeWyze is any better looking, but at least he doesn't have a family of field mice living in his hair.
To give credit to Crystal, she is one of the most talented performers to grace the AI stage and I am glad she didn't win and get tied into a contract requiring her to sing Idol songs the Idol way. She gets to define her own career, just like Adam Lambert did.....kinda.

Love LetterR. Kelly – Love Letter
Does he still believe he can fly? I have not heard anything to the contrary. Robert tries to add a little soul to his usual R&B and narrowly misses the target. Yes his real name is Robert. It could be worse, imagine if he was called Mervyn. Although looking at the CD cover maybe he thinks his name is Ray.
III/IVRyan Adams & The Cardinals– III/IV
The first line of the Wikipedia entry for Ryan Adams is:
Not to be confused with Bryan Adams.
That will teach him to use his middle name instead of his first name, David.
David Adams... I just googled it and no-one famous is named David Adams. He could have had that name all to himself.
The music is left over from a marathon recording session back in 2007.
Described as "the Cardinals second double-album concept rock opera about the 80's, ninjas, cigarettes, sex, and pizza"

Now Or NeverTank – Now or Never
Who is Tank? This is his 4th studio album and nobody knows anything about him. Let's see what Wikipedia says:
Tank (born Durrell Babbs on January 1, 1976 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin) is an American R&B singer, songwriter and producer. Tank has sold over 900,000 albums in the US. Mostly to his mom.
Track 8 is Foreplay (featuring Chris Brown). Press >> for that one, unless you want to hear Tank and Chris Brown perform Foreplay.

Basic InstinctCiara – Basic Instinct
This has, sorry. I was googling Basic Instinct to find some background info for this CD and there is, Oh my.
Did she just rhyme UPS Trucker with Mother Fu©ker? Well that's the level that Ciara has lowered herself to.
Last Train to ParisDiddy Dirty Money – Last Train to Paris
Puff the diddy dragon now has a new name but is still churning out the same crap. Diddy Pee Pee needs to pick just one hat and wear it, instead of spreading himself thinner than the butter on an airline sandwich.
Clothing, acting, music.. just how many pies does he have his fingers in? I saw DidDirMon on SNL and he almost had his fingers in Robert DeNiro's pie [LINK].

Kandi KoatedKandi – Kandi Koated
Alliteration is a clever literary device when used properly. It was a good effort, but unfortunately doesn't quite work here. The Slap the Penguin official verdict: Krap.
IndestructibleElvis Crespo – Indestructible
I am told that Elvis Crespo was named after Elvis Presley. Born in New York City and raised in Puerto Rico, Elvis (Crespo) is one of the most popular Merengue artists of his generation.
Merengue music is named after meringue, the egg white dessert, because people make egg beating motions while dancing to it.
Slowly baked meringues are referred to as "pets" in France (pets = farts in French) while the Australians call them Boo-meringue.

Trunk Muzik 0 to 60Yelawolf – Trunk Muzik 0-60
Just like Vanilla Ice 20 years ago, Yelawolf proves that although white guys can't jump, they can rap. This CD is so bad that it is actually good and will provide comic entertainment for a whole 24 hours. Just check out the hook when the DJ revolves it.
If you buy the CD version, you can use the disc as a shiny silver coaster. Bonus!

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